PRESTON FRONT  Ally's Trouble
by Sendibo
Summary: CHARACTERS - Ally Minshull/Carl Rundle. After Carl leaves Roker Bridge, Ally struggles more than anyone  including herself  could ever have anticipated...
1. Chapter 1

Ally's Trouble Chapter One

Ally turned, dazed. Every sight and sound around her seemed magnified, yet blurred, incomprehensible. The world appeared to spin before her eyes. Whether due to the alcohol or the shock she had just received, which she was still struggling to process, she could not tell.

He was leaving. Because of her, he was was all her fault. Ugh. To Cornwall, of all places. As far away from her as he could manage without leaving the country. Why had she kissed him? Of all the stupid things... they'd had a perfectly good working relationship up till then, until all hell broke loose. Why couldn't he have just forgotten it? She'd made her feelings clear. Or had she? Well, she certainly had. Only now, she wasn't quite sure what those feelings were... it was her fault.

No. No, it wasn't. It was Polson's fault. If he hadn't spotted them by the lake that time they could have finished it and it would have actually been nothing and there would be absolutely no need to bring it up ever again, and Carl wouldn't be leaving. She had to let him know what was coming to him. She would have if Simon hadn't kept going on at her. Why shouldn't she cause a scene? It was Polson's night, and he didn't deserve it. But it was Carl's too, his last TA event, and she wouldn't be doing him any favours by ruining it. If she was going to sort out Polson once and for all, it'd have to be sneaky. She needed to sit down.

Frazer. Frazer's place. Stupid bloody Frazer. Yes, she decided, it was his fault. If he hadn't dragged her to that society dinner that caused it all... if he hadn't strayed, she wouldn't have been so bored. She wouldn't have invited Carl to that party, given him the wrong idea. If Carl hadn't said her name at Lloydy's he wouldn't have left. It was Frazer's fault. If only she could have vented her feelings at him. But no, he was away again. After finding that earring she'd gathered up her things and got out of the house.

God. Now Polson was bothering her, worrying about a stupid place setting, still fussed about his stupid event. And with Carl right there too. Of course he was bound to ask her about it. And now she had to admit it, how stupid _she'd_ been, how wrong she'd been, feel the missed opportunity that was hanging round their heads like an impenetrable fog. The fog that neither could break, because they were currently in a mess hall with all of the most senior officers, one of whom was sitting almost directly opposite and peppering the conversation with painful little bullet-like comments. Besides, there was nothing to say, was there? He was leaving, why should she care? It wasn't like she had feelings for the man – not in that way, anyhow. They sat in a mourning silence, and she was desperate to know what he was thinking. She told herself that she was simply sad at the loss of her friend. Anything that her brain perceived as more was simply confusion brought on by the recent events. It had been one hell of a day. She surfaced back to the conversation.

'Northern girls are the best in the world.'

'I know.'

_Careful there Carl. It's the last time you'll ever see these people, at least try to get through it with your reputation intact_. The conversation was heading into dangerous waters, and Ally's head was spinning, so she headed outside for some air. She couldn't bear to be in there with him any longer.

She leaned against a wall, inhaling deeply the cool night air, relaxing at last, her head crammed to breaking point with half formed thought and heartaches which she couldn't escape from. But before she'd had time to recover, then there it was again. Polson's whiny, officious little voice droning its way into her brain. They way it had too frequently lately. She'd let him get to her. Suddenly it all seemed so meaningless. If becoming an officer meant bowing and scraping to someone like Polson, she'd do much better as an NCO. She could do without the excitement as she had done for so long.

So why didn't her brain agree? Why, despite all that logical thought, was that voice talking about stripes and respect still worming its way into her head? He was a small, spineless, weak little man. Even though he had authority over her, even though Carl was leaving, even though he'd won, he still couldn't get by unless he was making snide little hints and comments, just to make himself feel bigger. That slimy git had spent the last few weeks sucking the fight out of her. She'd spent all evening sat in a resentful silence. But he didn't deserve that respect, and he didn't know Ally Minshull. He hadn't won yet, and he didn't have a clue what was about to hit him.

Ally grinned at Mel as she launched herself off the platform and swung across the hall, landing in the scrum with a yell of pure exhilaration. This – this was the excitement she'd been craving. It had been a release, saying all that to Pete. It'd got it all off her chest. And now she was ready, she was back to her old self, for phase two. She'd winked at Polson, but it was also a signal to Carl – she knew he'd seen it. The revolution had begun.

Carl had seen enough to know that this was war. One of the things he'd most admired in Ally from the start was her fire, her wit, the way she stood up to the men and came out on top without ever losing her cool, just stating the facts in that cool, calm voice. Only those who knew her could know that those delicate tones could be so deadly. He'd seen enough to know that she'd succeeded in winding Polson up royally – and now it was his turn. He revelled in their teamwork – him knocking Polson's pride, her scampering about, chipping away at Pete's carefully built wall of respect. His eyes shone with malice and love as he watched her drive a watermelon into her Sergeant's face, her eyes wild and beautiful...

And then came the final battle, the breakdown. He had to admit credit to Matlock for delivering the final blow. He heard her call and turned instinctively to witness Pete Polson's fall from glory. They shared a smirk of triumphant pride, before she again disappeared into the crowd, and he was again left feeling disappointed. He had to get over her – was this ever going to go away?

Seemingly not. Sitting and observing the colours, mulling over the nights events and the many happy times in this drill hall, he heard the click of heels approaching. Could he hope... yes, there was her voice. Serious now. The celebration that should have been in her tone was bittered by the fact that they may now be separated... or was that yet more fanciful hope?

Ally tried to make light of the situation and she could tell that he was attempting to as well, but the laughter was soon gone, to be replaced by a sombre silence. She felt the sudden catch of air in her throat as he took her head in his hands, before stroking her hair as he had done at the lake. Then he ruined it by mentioning Frazer. But she'd left Frazer... she felt an alien sense of desperate disappointment as he turned to walk away.

Carl was proud. He'd done it, left with his dignity, without his usual sense of desperation. At first he had felt like kicking himself, but then realised that she had said 'goodbye'. A kiss would not change anything. When he heard the shower curtain swing and saw her standing there defiantly, he was determined not to let her wear him down. But her domineering drunkenness and his own surge of love took him over, as she stepped into the cubicle and he took her into his arms.

The next day he awoke, reeling from the unexpected burst of passion, and looked across at the empty pillow beside him. He hadn't woken up next to her, but this was definitely the next best thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

_Oh, God..._

Ally woke, bleary eyed and confused. She was in a strange bed – what the hell had happened last night? Opening her eyes a crack she took in the surroundings and suddenly remembered where she was – Spock's spare bedroom. Looking to the table beside her she spotted a glass of water and aspirin, which she swallowed gratefully before collapsing back onto the pillows. Sometimes having a teacher for a little brother had its uses. She wriggled a little in discomfort – the pillow was sodden. Reaching up, she touched her still-damp hair and groaned aloud.

Last night she'd learned a fair bit about angles and geometry, and also a fair bit about Carl Rundle. She remembered talking and laughing a lot afterwards as they sat in the mess hall afterwards, but about what she had no idea. She was confused – she didn't really know what to think. She regretted it – obviously. She'd probably just sealed the deal on their friendship being completely over, and lord knows what he thought of her now. And yet... was it worth it? It had certainly been a wonderful night... and he was leaving today anyway – it's not like she'd see him again. It hadn't been so much a kiss goodbye as a shag goodbye. One hell of a rebound.

After getting up, her shower was fairly awkward and thought provoking – she'd had far too many shower related memories in the past twenty-four hours to last her the rest of her life. One horrible, the other not quite so horrible. Yet she stayed under the running water until it ran cold, because there was way too much to face out there at the moment. But she had to get out sooner or later, so she dressed and headed downstairs to find Simon in the lounge, reading the paper.

'Afternoon.'

'God, what time is it?'

'Nearly half one. Hangover?'

'Yep.'

'Want any breakfast?'

'Nope.'

'You got even with Polson, then?'

'Didn't know you said things like 'get even'. But yeah, we did.'

'I'm still on the right side of thirty, you know.'

'Yeah all right, don't rub it in.'

'You don't need to worry about that, so long as you had fun. What on earth did you get up to last night, anyway? You didn't get in till about two, and you were soaked.'

Ally groaned.

'Mistakes were made. Drunken mistakes. Sorry, I didn't get you up, did I?'

'Doesn't matter. So – what's going on with Frazer?'

'Do we really have to do this now?'

'I guess not. Toast in the kitchen.'

But as she sat in silence she mulled over everything. It had been less than 24 hours since she'd found out about his affair, and yet so much had happened since then that she hadn't had time to think about it. There were so many logistics involved with divorce, but since there weren't any kids involved it should be quick and painless. She wasn't planning on fighting for his money – she'd always despised that kind of woman, and in any case she'd been fighting to be more independent from Frazer for years. She'd get a normal job, though in what she didn't know. And with the TA on top of that, she should be okay. Then the issue of her name occurred to her. Ally Minshull. Ally Matlock. Alison Minshull. Alison Matlock. Which to choose – the name of her estranged father, whom she hadn't seen in years, or her cheating bastard of a soon to be ex-husband? She'd leave that decision for later. First priority was to go and get her stuff, and then to find a flat. But then something occurred to her.

_Oh, hell!_

Nope. First priority was to find Simon and ask him to recover her earrings from the men's changing rooms in the drill hall.

xxx

'Here you are.' He climbed back into the driver's seat and handed them over.

'Thanks.'

'Do I really want to ask how your earrings ended up in the blokes changing rooms?'

'Probably not.'

'Are you coming to see off Lieutenant Rundle?'

'What? Why?'

'We just figured it would be best if his last memory of us didn't involve melon. But I understand if you...'

'Hmm.'

xxx

_Why did I consent to this?_ As she climbed out of Simon's escort, she spotted the familiar crowd over by the removal van outside Carl's house. Diesel turned and spotted them first.

'Hey, Spock! What took you so long?'

She felt obliged to speak up, seeing as it was her earrings which had made them late in the first place.

'Sorry, my fault. Had an errand to run.'

'Ally...' She saw Carl's head turn quickly in surprise.

She gave a brief smile of acknowledgement, before looking away to compose herself.

'Almost ready?'

'Just a few more boxes.' He yawned, and immediately blushed. Luckily a diversion was caused in the form of Lloydy making an appearance, always a recipe for disaster. She moved quickly to Carl's side, her own face tinged slightly red.

'Look, about...'

'Don't worry. It's forgotten.'

She smiled widely, though she could feel that her eyes weren't following. He reached for her hand and gave it a brief squeeze, before heading off to get into his car. The others clustered around, shouting their goodbyes, but Ally remained behind, glued to the same spot. She felt that this time round, it would not be so easily forgotten.

xxx

She could feel a stitch building in her side, but this time she relished it. She jumped over a log and ploughed her way on through the wood, keeping her eyes trained on the dark shape moving ahead of her whom she presumed was Eric. After Polson's downfall she had decided to remain in the TA. He was still here until his transfer, when she would too be transferred to train under his replacement. If all went well, she hoped to be training at Sandhurst within the next four months. Right now she could hear his voice shouting in the distance. Probably at Lloydy, though the voice was becoming louder and getting closer. It no longer bothered her, not since the mess dinner. She'd got things into perspective, and men like him no longer registered on her radar. She looked at her watch and upped her pace. She was to be at the truck in the next ten minutes, ready to load up before the men arrived back.

As she climbed into the truck she panted instructions at Dawn, who had been fairly quiet since her split from Eric. But then; she didn't feel much in the mood for conversation at the moment either. She'd collected her things from the house, and had sorted out a flat nearer to the centre of town. The conversations with Frazer had been fraught and brief, since their main discussion when he'd got back. She was still sad, and she did still love him, but not enough. Spock was right – she hadn't been happy, and it wasn't going well even before the affair. It was for the best. But as for what to do now, she was still clueless. She just threw herself into TA training and hoped for the best.

xxx

Two weeks later, Spock didn't know what to do for the best. Ally had been with Frazer almost since she'd come out of university. He knew she was strong and didn't doubt that she could stand on her own two feet, but all the same – he could see that something was bothering her. They had spent the day moving her things into her new place, and he could see that she was instantly comfortable in her own surroundings –but a little overwhelmed none the less. Then the others had come over for an impromptu housewarming, with various tales of an ostritch escape.

However, that wasn't why she wasn't herself. Dawn and Eric had returned from the weekend engaged, and Hodge was certainly looking very cosy with Mel. Dawn had obviously tried to keep it on the down low – she kept shooting anxious looks in Ally's direction – but the men didn't have quite the same tact. He knew better than to bring it up, but he could practically see the thoughts brimming around her head. He'd also been witness to her last exchange with Rundle, and everything was so obviously not forgotten there.

Hence how she came to be here, slumped on a fence beside him watching Diesel play with his new 'pet', and making the occasional gesture of mirth, before heading off to be by herself again.

Ally wished he'd give it a rest with the concerned glances and questions. Yes, she was hurting. Surprise, surprise. Her marriage had just broken down. She just couldn't comprehend why Frazer was so far from her thoughts these days. After a brutal training session the day before, she's discovered that things were going to be done differently than Carl had had planned, and hence her officer training had been set back again. She could hear the glee in Polson's voice as he delivered the news. Not much longer now... a few more weeks and he'd be gone. Before, that would have delighted her. But without Carl there, it didn't matter if Polson was. Far from forgetting, his absence loomed in the drill hall, which seemed emptier somehow. Almost without her noticing, he was gaining a considerable presence in her thoughts... and it disturbed her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Ally slid under the bonnet of the car. Now this – this was exactly where she needed to be. She heard Diesel's voice echoing from outside.

'You got it?'

'I think so!' she replied. Cars had changed a little since she'd been at uni, and they were very different from the massive TA trucks. But finally her life was back on track. And it hadn't changed much, really. Frazer had been distant for so long, and she'd always kept up to date with the latest vehicles. The only difference was really at TA, where Carl was still missing, and she was still pushing herself.

Meanwhile, it was her turn to be concerned about Simon. He'd come into the drill hall the other evening looking glum, and it was only after a beer or two and some serious nagging that she managed to get it out of him – that stupid award. He'd never really got to grips with students – not even when he was one. She remembered when they'd been at school. He was the one getting invited to countless presentation evenings and getting all of his homework done on time. Whereas she'd always been the one giggling at the back of the classroom, secretly taking the piss out of the teachers. And because he'd never been part of that set, he didn't really stand a chance on the teaching side.

But the other day, when he'd turned up at the garage in that stupid car... she felt duty bound to have a go at Diesel and Lloydy, but she had to admit that she didn't blame them. Most people would have laughed. She never found things like that funny though – it had become second nature since she'd laughed at him when he was ten and he'd treated it like a betrayal. She'd really appreciated him being about in Roker Bridge. They'd always had a great relationship – and they looked out for each other. True, mostly it was her looking out for him, but not always.

The other day it was Polson's last training session, and he had made sure it was extra gruelling. Soon Lloydy was lagging behind the rest. Ally felt confident that with all of her recent training, she'd be able to finish the course in a decent time. But she soon became frustrated with her lack of prowess. It was during the press ups that she had noticed it – as she reached her thirty-fifth, the others were hitting fifty and running off to the next step. As she felt her arms tremble on the last one, she dragged herself from the floor and into the trees, but was soon gasping for breath. She spotted Simon up ahead of her under the netting, and sprinted to catch up, her body protesting at each step. She found it suspiciously easy – he was definitely lagging on purpose so she didn't look as bad.

'Bad day, Al?'

'I don't need you to wait for me, Simon.'

'Just thought you might want some company.'

'MATLOCK! When you've finished pansying about, get moving!' Polson emerged from the trees and switched his gaze to Ally. 'At your own pace, Ma'am – when you're ready.'

Ally shot daggers at the two men before setting off again and seeing Simon moving off into the distance.

xxx

'That's got to be the saddest sight of the twentieth century...'

After showering and changing, her legs had stopped protesting but she was ready to sit down somewhere. What she was not in the mood for was her brother being a prat, or having to subsequently stop Lloydy and Diesel from being prats. And she was also not in the mood to feel remotely sorry for Polson. Before, they'd hardly been mates but he was tolerable. Now, she just wanted to erase his ratty little face from her memory as soon as possible. So imagine her joy at the news that he'd be attending Dawn and Eric's wedding. She'd have to set back her plans to never ever see him again back another month...

xxx

'Al, are you ready?' Dawn called.

'One minute!'

She buttoned up the front of her new suit. It was the day of Dawn's wedding. In ordinary circumstances she'd have been preparing to let her hair down, but having once met Dawn's parents and having heard Dawn complaining about the whole event for the past month, she didn't think there would be much opportunity. She checked her appearance once more in the mirror before heading out to get in the bridal car.

Later, as they headed off to The Roman Holiday, things began to look a lot more promising.

And even later than that, she let out all of her anger and frustration. Anger at Frazer, anger at Polson, frustration with Carl, frustration that even after table dancing, champagne and fun with her mates, there was something in the back of her mind that wasn't quite right.

She let it out on some scrawny, up himself little student and blimey, it felt good.

xxx

The next morning she awoke feeling tired and drained. Her mouth was dry, her head was swimming and it wasn't long before she'd dashed to the loos and brought up what seemed like most of the wedding buffet. What the hell had they put in that champagne? Looking at the clock she groaned and reluctantly stepped into the shower, shivering as she waited for the water to heat up. She wondered what was going on with Simon. When she headed home he was still on the table with Lloydy and that Jen woman. My word - that _had_ been a revelation. She didn't know he had it in him. And she didn't really want to think about it anymore, actually.

After a day at the garage she still didn't feel much better. Simon came over with a takeaway that evening and prattled incessantly for a bit about Jen. She couldn't actually remember the last time he'd had a proper girlfriend. Certainly not in the last five years. She just hoped that the new and improved Spock still retained some qualities of her little brother – like the patience to listen to one of her rants.

'I'm getting old.'

'Is this about what I said the other day? You're not old, Al.'

'Do you remember me drinking much last night? A bit, sure. But not enough to warrant an all day hangover. I haven't been drunk enough to chuck up everywhere since I was fifteen.'

'Hey, cast your mind back to yesterday morning. I was totally out of it. Maybe it's genetic.'

'God, I hope not.'

xxx

On Friday morning she returned to work. She hadn't been sick in 48 hours, so she was definitely on the mend. Her faith in her alcohol tolerance restored, she just hoped that her body had given that virus a good kicking.

But the next morning she still had that niggling doubt that something was wrong.

'Ma'am, might I suggest that you look for the answer somewhere other than the inside of your eyelids? And also that you devote your entire being to this training, and less on other, less constructive activities. I ask you again for the answer.'

'I don't know, Sarnt.'

'Maybe your section may provide some enlightenment?'

'I'm not hung over, Sarnt.'

'The answer, Ma'am.'

She sighed and turned wearily. Honestly, this morning she was just not in the mood.

'Anyone?' She was relieved when Hodge stepped forward.

'600 paces, Sarnt.'

Ally's brow furrowed. Suddenly, the answer was clear. So why hadn't she got it? Suddenly her eyes widened, she felt a sharp intake of breath and a wave of dizziness swept over her.

'Permission to leave, Sarnt? I don't feel well.'

Sergeant Diggs could see that she was looking worse for wear, so nodded with a roll of his eyes. The rest of the platoon watched in confusion as she broke into a run.

xxx

Later that evening, Spock got out of his car. He had quickly traded in his sports car for a more practical model, after Ally had taken him aside and reminded him of the fiasco that had been his German exchange partner, Dieter. Also, he was quite sick of having Lloydy and Diesel sniggering every time he turned up at the drill hall.

She opened the door with a glare.

'What?'

'Just came to see how you were.'

'I'm fine.'

'People who are 'fine' don't often leg it out of drill practise with their hands over their mouths. Have you been to see a doctor?'

'For heaven's sake Simon, it's just a virus.'

'Then you shouldn't be on your feet.'

'I wouldn't be, if you hadn't rung the doorbell.'

'Okay, okay, I'm going.'

'Good. I'm busy.'

He held up his hands in surrender, and headed back to the car.

Inside the house, Ally sighed and checked her watch, exhaling with frustration. She then headed back to the lounge and perched on the arm of the sofa, her fingers drumming agitatedly as she stared intently down at the table. A minute later she had fallen back onto the cushions, pressed her hands against her temples and groaned loudly.

'Shit!'

She reached for the phone and dialled.

'Simon? Sorry I bit your head off. Yeah, I know. I will. See you soon.'

Redialling, she put her head in her hands.

'Dawn? Can you come over? I need to talk.'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

'Hi.'

Dawn stepped inside the doorway and immediately took in how pale her friend's face looked.

'Are you okay? Are you ill?'

'In a sense.'

'In what sense?'

'How was your honeymoon?'

'It was amazing.' A dreamy grin appeared on Dawn's face, then she blinked and it became stern again. 'Don't avoid the question. What's up?'

Ally exhaled wearily as her eyes flickered up to look Dawn in the eye.

'I'm pregnant.'

Dawn missed a beat, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

'You're what? Ally...'

Ally sighed.

'I know. I didn't think I'd ever hear those words come out of my mouth. I'd practically forgotten I had a bloody uterus.'

'Well, what are you gonna do?'

'Have a baby, I suppose. I've heard that can sometimes happen.'

'Yeah, but... you know.'

'I'm not eighteen, Dawn.'

Dawn sighed and sat back, regarding her friend in astonishment.

'Congratulations?' Her voice still held a tone of incredulity.

'I guess.' Ally on the the other hand was answering in a monotone.

'So how far along are you?'

'Three months.'

'And how long have you known?'

'About two hours.' Shock was still etched on Ally's face.

'Does Frazer know?'

Ally paused and looked away. There was only one way this was going to sound, and she suspected that once she broke the news, Dawn's jaw would be headed rapidly south again.

'It's not Frazer's baby.'

'Blimey, Al! How the hell...?'

'I got really drunk and forgot that not all men have optional vasectomies.'

'You planning on telling me exactly who? And when, for crying out loud?'

There was another long pause, and Dawn wondered if she was going too far in her questioning.

'Do you remember the day me and Frazer split up? And we were in the car park discussing the logistics of sex in showers?'

'Do I really want to hear this?'

'Ooh, the gossip's just beginning, Dawn. Stick around. So Polson's behaving like a prat and I find out Carl's leaving because of me, and so I got pissed and I guess a bit irrational, and one thing led to another and I ended up doing a little shower experimentation.'

'You're avoiding the question again, Al.'

Ally rolled her eyes and smiled sarcastically. Dawn recognised the familiar blunt cover for Ally's emotions, when she felt she'd let her guard down. Next would come the jovial voice and grin that didn't quite reach her eyes. She waited apprehensively for the answer.

'Second, Lieutenant, Carl, Rundle. Surprised?'

Surprise didn't really cover it.

'Just a bit!'

'And I just feel so guilty about the whole thing, like I used him. Simon says it wasn't my fault but it was. And now I've landed him in another deep, dark pile of trouble. God, how the hell am I gonna tell him?'

'Do you even have his phone number?'

'Nope. I can get it though.'

There didn't really seem much to say after that.

'How're you feeling, Al?'

'Sick. Tired and shell shocked and like the bottom's just been pulled out of my world. But mainly sick.'

'Do you want me to go?'

'Would you? Let me think things over. And don't say anything to anyone, not even Eric. Actually, especially not Eric. No offense to your husband Dawn, but what Eric knows, Hodge knows. And before you know it the whole of Roker Bridge'll know about it. Ugh, who am I kidding? What the hell have I got myself into? See you later, Dawn.'

'Bye, Al.'

xxx

Simon was seriously worried about Ally. Despite what she said, he could see it in her eyes. Their usual twinkle had gone, only to be replaced with what looked like loss. She looked lost. She hadn't been to TA for two weeks now. Diesel said she'd been pretty much the same at the garage. And he'd tried asking Dawn, but she'd been equally evasive. He hoped it wasn't about Rundle – or worse, Frazer. She hadn't mentioned either of them in months, but then she never had been good at expressing her emotions. Except when she was pissed off. He had to say that she did pissed off _extremely _well. And it seemed that lately she'd been much more pissed off than usual.

So he was relieved when she appeared halfway through a knot tying exercise about half an hour into that week's session, but she was immediately called away.

'Officer Cadet Minshull! Here!'

'Oh dear, looks like she's for it,' Diesel remarked.

There weren't many knots tied in their corner for the next five minutes, as she and Diggs appeared deep in conversation. When she finally headed over, she looked pretty fed up. Hodge and Eric approached her.

'Hey, Ally. We'll take down the missing persons notices, shall we?'

'We were about to report you for desertion!'

A glare from Ally and quick thump from Dawn was enough to quieten them.

'Not in the mood, boys.'

Lloydy turned to face Spock.

'She ent never in the mood anymore. It's like she's had an 'ead transplant or summat.'

'Shut up, Lloydy.' The group spoke in unison.

The rest of the session passed without incident, though there wasn't so much of the jokey banter between the group as there normally was. Ally sensed this and knew it was her fault, and this put her in an even blacker mood.

As the rest of the platoon filed out of the drill hall, Spock heard the dreaded call of 'Matlock!'

As he approached Diggs, the sergeant didn't look very pleased.

'At ease. Matlock, is there any way you can get your sister to reconsider? I know the officer training's been hard on her and she hasn't been herself lately, but she's a good soldier. She'd make a fine officer one day if she stuck at it.'

'Hang on – she's actually_ left_? Did she say why?'

'Personal reasons, apparently. Goodbye, Matlock.'

Spock dashed out of the drill hall. He caught Ally just as she was heading into the pub.

'Hi Simon. I'm not staying; just need a word with Dawn.'

'I need a word with you! You're leaving the TA? Why? Why didn't you tell me?'

'Because it was only today that I decided.' She kept walking.

'That doesn't explain why you're jacking it in. Ally!' He cleared his throat and hissed at her. 'Ally, that's the ladies!'

'You want to talk or what?'

Something about her voice made him stop and stick his head round the door.

'I'll be thrown out!'

'Dawn's the only other lady in this place. She won't care.'

Spock looked at his sister, not quite believing what his ears were telling him. Then she turned, confirming it. His fiery big sister, the one who'd stood up for him all his life, who walked all over the squaddies, who was the strongest woman he knew... was _crying_. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her cry. Not since she was seven, definitely.

'Ally... what's the matter?' He was surprised to see her laugh through her tears.

'Nothing. Hormones.'

'Ally, you don't have hormones.'

'It seems I do now.' She took a deep breath, and her eyes flicked up towards him, filling again. He stepped inside.

xxx

'Did he just... go into the ladies?'

'He did.'

'What's he want to go in there for?'

'He was following Ally.'

'What_ was_ her problem tonight?'

'Time of the month?'

The men all sniggered, and Dawn had had enough.

'Just shut it, alright? In case it's escaped your attention, her marriage just broke down, she's got a lot on her plate, and you lot certainly aren't helping!'

The gang looked at her, some confused at her sudden tirade, some looking abashed. Then their focus was drawn by the squeak of the toilet doors, and Spock emerged. He headed across the room towards them, and when he reached them and sat down, he looked dazed.

'Spock? What's going on, man?'

He sat in silence for a while.

'It seems that I'm going to be an uncle.'

Diesel caught on first, followed by Hodge and Eric.

'No way!'

Eric turned to Dawn.

'Did you know about this?'

She made a non committal gesture. Then the door creaked open again, and all heads shot towards the source of the noise. Ally stepped out and paused. She took in the open mouthed expressions of all of her mates and held their gaze for a second. Then, brushing her hair away from her face, she turned and strode across to the exit. Dawn rose quickly.

'I'll go after her.' She dashed across the room, and Lloydy stood up too. Spock looked up at him.

'Uh uh. Not a good idea.'

'Why not? She's my best mate in law, man.'

'_Best mate in law_?'

'Yeah, cos she's your sister, i'nt she, and she's upset, like.'

'No offense mate, but I reckon comforting by Lloydy is possibly the very worst option available to her right now.'

'Maybe she'd cheer up if you told her she were gonna be an aunty.'

They looked at him in disbelief. Hodge spoke up.

'_Mother_, Lloydy. She's gonna be a _mother_.'

'Oh... _Oh_!'

Diesel slapped him on the back.

'Best leave it to Dawn, eh?'


	5. Chapter 5

Ally's Trouble Chapter Five

In the car park, the two women were sitting in Ally's sports car. Ally was in full flow – both words and tears.

'I just walked out and they were all just lookin' at me, I could tell what they're thinking, they think I'm a freak with some kind of freaky thing inside me - which there _is_, but there was no need to stare at me like I 'ad two heads or something-'

'-but'

'-and why am I gettin' worked up about this anyway? I don't cry, I don't care what people think of me, and suddenly all of a sudden I'm doing both. And don't say it's hormones 'cos that's what the woman at the stupid clinic kept bloody goin' on about and frankly, I'm sick of hearin' about bloody hormones!'

Dawn waited for a minute to be sure that the tirade was over. There were so many things she needed to say in reply to that speech, but to order it all in a way that made sense she'd have had to have written an essay. She settled on one point for now.

'You went to the clinic?'

'Yep. This morning. Everything's A-okay, even though I've been doing all the things I'm not supposed to, because I didn't know I wasn't supposed to be doin' them. So I can't do TA any more. Not that I guess they'd want me anyway. Won't fit under a truck for much longer, will I?'

'It won't be the same without you, Al.'

'I should hope not.'

Dawn felt obliged to try and comfort her friend.

'And they weren't staring. Okay, they were staring, but it's 'cos they care. They're concerned about y'. Even Lloydy. He reckons 'cos you're Spock's sister that makes you his 'best mate in law'. They had to practically restrain him to stop him following you.'

Ally rolled her eyes, but couldn't quite raise a smile. Dawn saw that she could make no more progress tonight, and got out of the car.

'You know where I am. Just call me if y' need to talk.'

There was no reply as Ally drove off into the darkness.

xxx

Spock lay in bed, unable to sleep. After Dawn returned and said that Ally had left, he went home too. He wanted to see her but he assumed she wanted to sort herself out first. He couldn't quite get his head round the information at all. So many little things about her recent behaviour had now fallen into place because of that simple explanation. And yet the explanation itself just opened up a whole new realm of questions which he didn't think he wanted to analyse, even if he could. So he decided to lay down the facts.

His sister was having a baby. Fact. A mind blowing fact indeed. He was going to be an uncle. Fact. Not so mind blowing, he quite liked the concept actually. Somehow he found the thought of himself being an uncle so much more digestible than Ally being a mother, despite the fact that the two went hand in hand, as they had no other siblings. Right. Ally had just divorced Frazer. Fact. Things hadn't been right between them for ages. Fact. So how...? And then it hit him. Why she'd been so upset. How she'd behaved the day after the mess dinner. The reason for her earrings being in the men's changing rooms. Lieutenant Rundle. Possibly. But he'd get back to the facts.

He tried to figure out why the thought was so strange to him. Probably because the words 'Ally' and 'domesticated' were mutually exclusive. Very, very mutually exclusive. Her place was often a pigsty when he went over there. Also, he couldn't (and didn't particularly want to) imagine what would be happening to his sister's body very soon. And the image of Ally with a baby, or Ally pushing a pram, or Ally changing nappies... no. Wouldn't come. But ten years down the line... he knew that his sister hosted a whole range of emotions and love that she rarely let the world see. He could see her chatting away to an unseen child, shouting at them when they were bad, taking them to school, standing up for them to the parents of the bullies. Tying up a daughter's hair, playing toy cars with a son (he could see that one particularly clearly). Suddenly the idea didn't seem so ludicrous anymore. And he'd stand by her. With his thoughts organised and his mission clear, he drifted into sleep, determined to head by her flat tomorrow evening.

xxx

The mission was not so clear when he knocked on her door the next day, and there was no answer. Maybe she was in the bath. _Maybe,_ his conscience whispered, _she doesn't want to see you._ But that wasn't like Ally. If she wanted him to go away, she'd come to the door and tell him in no uncertain terms to clear off. He called her name a few times, before resigning himself to the fact that she wasn't going to let him in. He wandered back to the car and glanced up at the window. The curtains were open. So she was up and about, and just avoiding him.

He approached the garage and slowed as usual to glance out of the window. If Deezy was out front he'd often drop in for a chat. It was a summer force of habit – now that autumn had rolled in and the evenings were darker, he'd work in the workshop. Sure enough, the doors were closed and he could see light streaming from underneath them. He was about to speed up and head home, when a shape out front caught his eye. Ally's car. Surely she wasn't working? After yesterday? Lloydy had a tendency to pop by on his breaks, which seeing as he was self employed, were fairly regular. And Diesel and Lloydy together were never a good combination. He pulled in.

As he approached the workshop, he heard the familiar clanking and clattering of the garage. He opened the main door, the light flooding over him. Looking around, he immediately saw a pair of feet sticking out from under one of the cars. Nope. The shoes told him that the legs belonged to Diesel. Sweeping his gaze across the rest of the room, his eyes finally rested on the familiar head of blonde hair. Ally was at the back of the workshop, her arms stretched up for a box which her fingertips were just brushing. He walked up behind her and reached over her head, his 6'2 allowing him to pluck the box easily from the shelf, and causing her to jump and turn to face him. On seeing that it was him, she visibly relaxed and took it from him. She took it to a nearby bench and began hunting through the tools.

'Thanks, Simon.'

'I didn't expect to see you here.'

'I work here, don't I?' She appeared to be studying a screwdriver a little too intently.

'Yeah, but... listen, we need to talk.'

'We are talking.'

'Stop being obtuse. Look, why are you suddenly being so difficult?'

'Not here, eh, Spock? I get off at five, come over around six and we'll talk. Promise.'

She turned back to one of the cars, and he made to leave. Diesel met him by the door, and checked that Ally wasn't within earshot.

'She's been like that all day, pretending everything's normal and not talking. Can you try and cheer her up? It's been dull.'

'I'll try, mate.'

xxx

Spock knocked on his sister's door for the second time that day. This time, it opened.

'I'm sorry.'

Spock looked genuinely puzzled.

'What for?'

Ally motioned him inside and they sat down.

'For bein' difficult. You know, it's a perfectly normal thing to happen and some people'd give their left arm for it to happen and here I am acting like the world's gonna cave in when I just need to get a grip! And if my mother can do it, I'm certainly not gonna... ah, she's gonna have a field day, isn't she? You told her yet?'

'We haven't spoken in a while, actually.'

'Oh? Since when? What did you do?'

'Coincidentally, since that issue of Lancashire Living came out.'

'Ah, ha! Come on then, what did she say? And don't leave out the bits about me.'

'Well, naturally you were first, since you were in the featured photo smothering some kid while Dawn kicked the hell out of him.' He sniffed in a disdainful way. 'I see Alison Minshull has been brawling again.''

'Nice impression. So that's the 'What has my faulty gene knock-off done this time?' sniff is it? And she simply has to use my surname of course, to make sure no-one could even presume she's related to me, and since when do I _brawl_?'

'You asked, remember. And to be fair, you have had your fair share of brawling incidents.'

'True. They all deserved it though.'

'So then she reads the article – incidentally, did you know she knows Mrs Lomax? They probably got together afterwards and had a woeful rant about their wayward children. But anyway, they read that overview of the situation, helpfully donated by Lloydy of all people, positioned between the quote of Jen's about the Franco-Prussian war, and a photo of Lloydy giving me a high five afterwards.'

'They don't approve of sex in car parks then?'

'Seemingly not. And I doubt they'd approve of sex in public showers either.' He observed his sister, and took it from her blush that he'd guessed correctly.

'How the hell do you know that?'

'I'm a history teacher. My job is to analyse facts and sources and link them to come up with possible conclusions. Nice to know I'm good at it though, normally the people in the sources are dead and we can only guess... but I digress.' He tailed off at her look of contempt.

'Sorry. Back to the point in hand. The bottom line is, you're bound to be feeling different. I mean, this wasn't on your life plan, was it?'

'You can say that again.'

'So, I'll try and get the others to be a bit more understanding. And buy a gag for Lloydy. But can you at least try to stop avoiding everyone and talk a bit more?'

'Okay. What d'ya want to talk about?'

'You. How are you?'

'I'm fine. I'm behaving. Doing all the things I'm supposed to. Given up TA. Apparently being shot at and prodding mines can harm baby's development. It's been my coping mechanism, you know? When I'm upset or pissed off I go and yell at Polson and run a few miles and it gets it out of my system. But now I just have to hold it in and then rant at you or Dawn to get it out, which isn't fair. '

'Hey, you bashed my enemies heads in, remember? The least I can do is sit and listen to a few rants. We're all here for you, Al.'

'Thanks.'

'And how's – you know, how far are you and stuff?'

'Normal, apparently – hang on...'

She retrieved her jacket from the arm of the sofa and rooted around in the pockets for a minute.

'There you go. Minshull junior. 14 weeks.'

Spock took the blurry brown photo.

'Wow. I mean... wow. It looks...'

'Like an alien.' Ally was nothing if not honest.

'Well... yeah.'

'Hopefully it'll grow out of it by the time it starts school. And if not... well, I'm good at kicking heads in.'

As they shared a grin, Spock sensed that everything was going to be okay. And as Ally looked back down at the little piece of card... did he detect a sense of pride? Yes, there was definitely more under the surface than she was letting on. He felt sorry for her, everything in her life was so clearly out of control at the moment. Satisfied with the way their conversation had gone, he said that he should be getting back.

'Now, if there's anything you need, call me.'

'Actually, Simon – there is.'

He turned to face her, and saw that she was serious again.

'I need a phone number and address for Lieutenant Rundle. Can you ask around?'

A significant look passed between them, and she knew that Simon had understood perfectly.

'Consider it done.'


	6. Chapter 6

Ally's Trouble Chapter Six

As soon as the door had closed behind him, Ally sunk back onto the sofa and stared some more at the scan picture until it blurred into a sea of meaningless brown. Spock had been right. A whole host of unfamiliar emotions had started to brew, ones that she didn't think she could ever experience.

She didn't want a baby. Thirty one years on the planet and never one single maternal urge. Kids were nice enough and all that, but she didn't want to be solely responsible for one for the next eighteen years. Eighteen years... she'd be nearly fifty. Everything she held dear in life was not conducive to a child friendly atmosphere. She just wasn't built for motherhood.

So when she had gone to see the nurse and then had showed her that tiny, perfectly formed thing on the screen... she'd made that. She was still making that. Bloody hell. This was very, very different from a sports car, and so so much harder, despite the fact that she hadn't even realised she was doing it. She couldn't hide the note of pride in her voice as she had passed the photo to Spock. Now, she lay her hand on her abdomen. It barely felt different at all. All that TA training had given her a good set of stomach muscles. Although they were no longer getting a regular workout, they were still completely concealing the child lying behind them.

xxx

'There you go.' Three days later Spock passed his sister a scrap of paper, on which was penned in neat lines an address and telephone number. She took it slowly from him, the dazed look evident on her face.

'What? Already? Blimey, that was quick...'

'Popular guy, Rundle. Did a bit of discreet questioning after drill practise.'

'Okay. Thanks, Simon.'

He noticed that she was fidgeting with her hair a lot as she stared at the paper, her eyes practically boring holes in it. She was agitated.

'What's the matter?'

'How do I even begin to tell him, Simon? I mean, he's all public schoolboy, formal and professional and I know he'd do the right thing, but you know – I don't want to mess everything up for him.'

Spock could only see one way to put her worries in perspective.

'Do you love him, Al?'

'Spock, you can't - '

'Simple question, simple answer. Yes or no?'

She glared at him.

'Yeah.' As she spoke the word, she realised that she'd known it all along.

'There you are then.'

'It's not that simple!'

'Look, I'm sorry Ally, but this really isn't my area of expertise.'

She sighed.

'I know. I'm sorry'

'Call Dawn, okay?'

'Yeah.'

xxx

'Come on, Al. We all heard what he said at Lloydy's party that time. Question: Who would you most like to wake up next to? Answer: Quote – 'Ally'. Unquote.'

'You and I both know that wantin' to wake up next to someone and wantin' to rear a child with them are two very different things.'

'But that's not all he said! You told me, remember? He's absolutely smitten with you.'

'But I can't know, Dawn! I can't know that he's not just gonna reject me, or even worse, pledge some undying love which he doesn't really mean out of some pompous sense of duty.'

Dawn sighed. She could see Ally's strong and independent side battling it out with her rational brain – and rational thought was losing.

'It's late, Ally. Think it through overnight, and call me tomorrow.'

'Yeah, alright.'

Both women put down the phone. Ally headed straight for the direction of her bed. Dawn on the other hand rifled through her address book and redialled.

'Hodge? I need your help.'

xxx

The next day was a Saturday. Ally had woken and got out of bed though she still felt tired – it was a perpetual state nowadays, and she had been assured it should have gone away by now.

She set off for work, but she wasn't sure she'd got much constructive work done by the time she'd fixed the three mistakes she'd made. She was lying under a car, but couldn't properly see the underside through the tears – and through Carl's face, which was a constant projection in front of her eyes.

All the concerns that she had voiced to Dawn and Spock were true, and they were all reasonable fears. What was it he'd said? That what he felt for her was never going to go away. Was that still true? Possibly. If only she had felt the same at the time. She realised now that she had felt that way at the time – but then at the time Frazer hadn't yet proved himself to be a cheating bastard. She'd bumped into him the other day – easy really, when you live in a town as small as Roker Bridge. She'd ignored him, he'd ignored her. Job done – but she couldn't help feeling shaken as she walked away. She'd loved Frazer – and he'd loved her at the time, else he wouldn't have married her. Love didn't always last forever, and men sometimes did vile things. Frazer had left her feeling upset and uneasy – and the one thing she hadn't mentioned to Dawn and Spock was that she was terrified of it happening again.

Later that evening she put the TV on and settled down on the sofa. She felt that she wanted to have a night in with her own thoughts, without her friends shooting concerned looks at her and without the constant noise pollution from the pub they usually met in. So she was annoyed when she heard a rap at the door. It was probably Dawn. She sensed that her friend hadn't quite finished on the topic. She was very surprised to see Hodge – alone.

'Hodge. What brings you here?'

'I need to talk to you. I wouldn't normally turn up unannounced, but I thought maybe you might not want to talk right now. But it is important.'

Ally had never seen him look so serious – or act so mysterious.

'You better come in. Tea?'

'Yeah, wouldn't mind.'

As she made the tea, she saw him twiddling his thumbs on the sofa. Something was making him nervous – probably her, she realised. She had flown off the handle at the others a lot lately.

'So, what's the big important discussion then?'

'Well actually – Dawn asked me to stop by.'

Ally was instantly on her guard as she headed over and sat down.

'Why? What's she said?'

'First thing you need to know – I'm the only one she's told. She's not even told Eric, and she hasn't told me all the details. But she wanted to make a point to you, but she knew you wouldn't listen to her or Spock, so she got me to come instead.'

'But I do listen to her and Spock; I've done nothing but listen to her and Spock.'

'Yeah, but... look. Yer pregnant, right? It wasn't planned and the father isn't Frazer.'

'If only it were that simple. But yeah.'

'Right. You don't have to tell me anything, it can be a one way conversation if you like, but you have to listen.'

'Okay.'

'Dawn says that yer having trouble deciding whether to tell the baby's dad that yer pregnant. And there are loads of reasons why that could be really awkward, and it'd be so much easier to keep yer mouth shut. But I 'ave to talk to y', because I've been on the other side of your situation.'

'What d'ya mean?' Ally's curiosity was peaked.

'When I was seventeen, I got a girl pregnant. Well – woman actually, she was thirty six. And she did tell me about it. But I ran away. I buggered up the whole thing, and I ran away. And by the time I realised my mistake, she'd gone up in the world, and I wasn't good enough. I was an embarrassment. I wasn't to see my daughter and no-one was to know that I was her father.'

'Hodge...' Ally laid her hand on his.

'But then her mother changed her mind. I got to see her all the time. I still wasn't allowed to tell anyone, not even her, but it was better. And now – well, she's been taken away again. And I'm free to tell anyone I like that I'm her dad, but there's no point because she's not here. I don't even know if she knows. And the very fact that she doesn't know that I'm her Dad – that she didn't know what she was leaving behind - it breaks my heart.'

'You've got a daughter... Kirsty was your daughter? That's why we went there on the wedding day.'

'That's right. And that's when Jeanetta finally told me I was allowed to be her father. When Kirsty was already on the other side of the boarding gate. With Declan. It doesn't matter who knows anymore, because she's gone. She's seven, Ally. By the time she grows up and gets back here... Declan'll be her dad, no matter what Jeanetta's told her.'

'Now. I don't know how much of this relates to you. But you need to ask yerself. Give yourself one good reason why that lucky, lucky man shouldn't just be allowed to know he has a child.'

Ally thought... thought back to Polson, to the Lieutenant and the married NCO. To all the reasons they shouldn't have. To all the reasons that... were no longer reasons. The Lieutenant who was no longer a Lieutenant. The NCO who was no longer married. She looked up, her mind cleared.

'There isn't one. Not anymore.'

'And isn't he going to know anyway, soon? Pregnancy's hardly discreet, is it?'

'Ah. You know that secret about Kirsty, that you managed to keep for all those years?'

'Yeah.'

'Think you can do it with this one?'

'Course.'

'Okay. The reason he wouldn't find out, is because he's recently moved to Cornwall.'

'Not – not?' Ally inclined her head. 'Seriously? I mean – wow. That's...' Hodge was entirely baffled. Ally supposed he hadn't had little inklings to get used to the idea, like Dawn and Simon had.

'Yeah. He was an officer, I was married. But now... I just don't know how he'll take it.'

'No-one can know that. But he hasn't dropped off the face of the planet. He's still got mates in the TA. He will find out. And just trust me on this. I had three wonderful, precious years to get to know my daughter. But if she hadn't told me... if she'd denied me that – I don't think I could ever have forgiven her. He'll take it much better if he hears it from you.'

Ally's mind was overwhelmed, but she was so grateful to Hodge, for clearing her guilt, and making her realise what she had to do.

'Well then. I guess I'm going to Cornwall.'


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

What Hodge had said all made so much sense. She hadn't been thinking of it from Carl's perspective at all. She'd been so selfish. The words he'd spoken hadn't made the upcoming confession any less terrifying – just made it inevitable. She was strong. She could do this. Ugh. She'd always been so outspoken. Pregnancy had turned her brain to mush.

She wasn't going to call in advance. Things between them were too complicated and unresolved to arrange a meeting – they'd both be stewing. She was stewing anyway. Spock, Dawn and Hodge, the only ones who knew, had eased off tons since she'd come to her decision. She waited a few days – waiting for the upcoming long weekend, so she could stay in Cornwall and they could talk things over. She felt confident that he wasn't going to just leg it. She spent her week working extra hours in the garage to make up for her few distracted ones, and also for the time that was to come. Out of all the lads, she'd always been closest to Diesel, and he was proving very understanding about everything. They hadn't come to an official arrangement – more of a reassurance that she'd be popping in to do stuff whenever she could. Her work now was quick and efficient – she'd got used to the job and was no longer feeling so guilty. Huh. Carl was always the one prone to guilt.

On the next Friday afternoon, she waited at the train station with Dawn and Simon.

'You're sure you don't just want to call him?'

'No. Calling is too... impersonal. It's a big conversation, you know?'

'Hmm. Good luck, Al.'

Her train pulled into the station. She hugged Simon briefly.

'See you Monday, sis. You'll do fine.'

He watched as the train left the station, and then they made their way back to his car in silence.

It was a long journey from Lancashire to Cornwall – but at least he hadn't gone for the very end of it. As she relaxed against her seat, she tapped her foot relentlessly; looking out of the window and watching the sky turn from blue to black. It'd be here tomorrow – the day of confession. It'd be too late to contact him by the time she reached her destination. She'd decided to take the train instead of driving, because she had a lot of thinking to do, and knew that keeping her eye on the road would distract her from that thinking.

She spent the journey trying to figure out the words she was going to use, and in what order. How to lessen the impact of them, somehow. She had realised in the last week that it wasn't pregnancy that had made her so subdued and timid. It was Carl. She was fine with anyone else. She'd been joining the gang in the bar for the past week and her bantering skills were back up at their usual level. But Carl... she loved him. She could see that now. And it was her love for him that made her so dubious. She didn't want to hurt him, and she didn't want him to hurt her. But in the face of the inevitable shock he was going to face anyway, she realised that there was no choice but to just improvise.

Her hand slipped down to her stomach again. Four months now, and it was starting. The beginning of something. A small bulge which she now found impossible to ignore – though she doubted others would notice. Her child. She was going to be a mum. She still couldn't get over how weird that sounded. And Carl a father. Quite easily imaginable, but them together – parents. That sounded just so domestic.

She rose as the train stopped, pulled down her bag from the luggage rack. Made her way to the B and B which was just around the corner. Curled down in her bed but barely slept, the same half formed, surreal thoughts floating around her head.

xxx

The sun shone in through the window. It was a beautiful autumn day, and Ally forced herself out of bed, her eyes protesting against the light as they fought to close. She hadn't been sleeping well for a while, and she knew it wasn't healthy. But the last breakfast call was at half nine, and it was quarter past already. She knew that she had to get some food down her, although the knowledge of the day ahead had twisted her stomach into knots.

Stepping out into the light, she shielded her eyes against the glare coming off the sea, and made her way to the nearest bus stop. As luck would have it, the village in which Carl now lived was a good way from any major train routes. As she navigated the Cornish bus system, she wished more than ever she could just jump into her car. She loved driving – but that journey had been way too long for her to want to make it alone.

Three hours later she got off of the last bus. It'd taken twice as long as it would have to drive – partly because of the mass of tourists and partly because of the locals, some of whom were clearly barmy. She didn't know why anyone in their right minds would choose to live in a tourist hotspot –but then since Carl worked in hotels she guessed it made economic sense.

She looked for the hundredth time at the scrap of paper in her hand. Ambrose House was where Carl lived. Hmm. As she headed down into the village she passed it, and realised that she couldn't just knock on his door. Not after all this time. They had to go somewhere more public – but not too public.

Eventually she came to a cafe. It had several tables for two lining the walls, and they looked ideal. She checked the cafe name, and headed off for another fifteen minutes to find a phone box. She put the numbers in and dialled – though stalling at the last digit. Eventually she pressed the call button, and counted the rings. There were seven.

'Hello?'

God, he sounded so English. She and her friends were all English too, but he was classic – the stereotypical English gentleman. They were the dour Northerners.

'Hello?'

She realised that she hadn't said anything yet. She opened her mouth and a muffled sound came out – she cleared her throat.

'Hi, Carl. It's me. Ally.'

On the other end of the phone, Carl's heart stopped. Of course it was Ally. She hadn't needed to say a thing – from the moment she'd cleared her throat, he'd known.

'Ally...' He couldn't prevent the expression of happiness which had taken over his voice when he spoke her name. '...good to hear from you. How are things?'

'So so. Listen, I need to talk to you.'

He couldn't help thinking that they were supposed to be forgetting things, moving on, but he couldn't bear to speak the words, lest she change her mind.

'Go ahead.'

'Not here. Face to face. Can I meet you in the Trevose Cafe in about fifteen minutes?'

The day was growing ever greater for Carl Rundle, though he couldn't quite keep the confusion from his voice.

'You're _here_? _Now_?'

'I needed to see you. Please, Carl.'

'I'll be there as soon as I can.' She needed him. If Ally needed him, he'd be there.

'Thanks.'

He hung up, grabbed his coat and walked out of the door.

xxx

The minutes ticked by, so slowly that he was sure the clock was broken_. For heaven's sake, get a grip_, he told himself firmly. He had no idea what she was here about, but the fact that she was here must mean that it was very serious indeed. He'd chosen small table for two in the corner, he himself sitting in the seat facing the windowed front wall of the shop. He supposed she'd have had to walk from the nearest phone box, which was a bit of a walk. Then finally, finally, he saw the familiar face, that bright blonde head, its presence so surreal in this new town, peering into the room and spotting him in the corner. His face broke into a reflexive smile, and he stood as she entered the cafe.

xxx

She saw him – he had obviously seen her first, as his eyes were fixed on her, his face had stretched into a grin, and he was beginning to stand to greet her. She let out a tiny breath followed by a deep one in, and opened the door. She felt her mouth turning at the corners, and she reluctantly let the smile emerge – her first genuine one for months – and it was with relief that she walked swiftly over to his table. They stopped awkwardly for a moment before giving in, and she fell into his arms with a sigh. It was a brief greeting hug, but it felt just so good to feel his strong, tall presence against her. After a moment, he pulled back, still not letting go of her arms.

'Hello.' His voice had that familiar smile in it – the exact same word and intonation as when she met him at the hotel, when he wasn't expecting to see her.

'Hi.'

His heart had flooded as he saw her face break into the familiar grin that he knew and loved, and all intentions of forgetting the woman before him went out the window. As she reached him, he stopped for a moment to consider the consequences before closing his arms around her anyway, then pulling away. He did not want to lose the close contact they'd made, so kept his hands resting lightly on her shoulders as he took her in.

She looked different now. She'd always been pale, but now she was almost white, which made her hair – still the colour of sunshine – stand out against it. The familiar side parting and strands framing her face were gone – all scraped back roughly over her head and secured in a ponytail at the back, so much more casual than usual. And her eyes had dark circles under them. Amid all of his feelings for her, concern managed to edge its way in as he took in how exhausted she looked – though still completely beautiful, as her eyes met his. They broke apart, and sat down facing one another on either side of the table.

'So. How have things been for you?' She was glad he'd started off with niceties.

' Pretty stressful. Dawn and Eric got married. Simon got a girlfriend and Hodge lost his daughter.'

'Hodge has a daughter?'

'You might've met her – Kirsty Scarry. No-one knew she was his daughter till after her mum had taken her off to live in America.'

'Poor guy. That's pretty harsh, not letting him see her. If that was me...' he tailed off, embarrassed.

Ally bit her lip. Was that...? Was it going to be okay after all?

'But what about you? Did things work out with Frazer?'

'Yep.' She smiled and his face fell slightly. 'The divorce went through on Monday.'

If anything, he looked even more saddened.

'I'm sorry. This has all been a bit of a mess.'

_And it's about to get messier._

'Yeah. Hey, it's not your fault.'

'You can move on now. New chapter in your life.'

'You can say that again.' She sighed.

She still looked troubled. He so wanted to cheer her up, but he had no idea how he could go about it. And he still hadn't found out what had possessed her to travel all the way down to Cornwall to see him.

'So. What are you doing here? I think I'm still recovering from the shock.'

'Well, I wouldn't relax too soon. We need to have a big talk. About us.'

'What about us?'

What was going on? She was acting like she had bad news, but you don't travel that many miles after four months, only to re-confirm that a relationship is over. Especially a relationship that was never really a relationship.

'About us... on the night of the mess dinner.'

Carl could feel the blush rising on his face, but Ally's was calm yet solemn.

'Ally... you were very drunk. I shouldn't have let it get that far. It was nothing. You can put it behind you, honestly.' It pained him to say the words.

'No, I can't. Not really. Because that wasn't just drunken nothing. It was, just, so much bigger and more significant.'

'You already know that I love you, Ally. We've established that several, very embarrassing times and it's caused a whole heap of trouble, but I know you don't feel the same and I respect that.'

Why, why was she making him drag this up after so long? He could feel old wounds reopening.

'No. Not anymore. It was guilt on my part, guilt that told me it shouldn't happen, and at the time I still loved Frazer. But I had a chat with Hodge and he made me realise that actually... well, I do. Fell the same, I mean.'

His eyes widened as hers bored into them, her face much pinker now, but still the open, honest and wonderful Ally that he knew. He knew that she didn't suffer fools gladly. And he was no longer a fool. For once his trademark beam was lost, and all he could do was stare in complete disbelief... and splutter. And then he realised that she'd broken away, that she was trying to cover how uneasy she felt with such public displays of affection.

She so hadn't meant the conversation to go that way. She'd meant every word of it, but they'd been here for ages now and it still hadn't come out. She tried some more words, and found that her vocal chords still worked. _Get back on track, Ally..._

'So, now we've got the love declarations out of the way...' she lowered her voice. 'That's still not exactly why I'm here.'

'Oh.' He looked very confused.

'Now, before you say anything, preferably in a low voice, sit and think for ten seconds, and try to organise your thoughts.'

'Ally, what the hell is going on?' She could see that he looked worried now.

'Right. Back to the mess dinner. I'm just gonna spit this out.' There was silence.

_That generally is the cue to spit it out, Ally._ She took a deep breath. _Eye contact_.

'I'm pregnant.'

Complete, deathly silence. It was as if time had stopped. She counted to ten in her head as she watched the emotions spectrum across his face.

_7, 8,9,10. _She kept looking him steadily in the eye, and eventually he spoke.

'I don't think ten seconds is long enough.'


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

His ten seconds were up and still he was nowhere near to even comprehending the words that had just come out of her mouth.

'Don't worry. I've had three weeks to get used to the idea and I'm still nowhere near gettin' my head round it.'

He barely heard her. The world had ceased to exist, apart from her beautiful face, locked onto his, softly speaking those words. He looked around, saw the familiar face of Mrs Thatcher, the village gossip, talking among her friends and eyeing their table with interest. He couldn't do this here.

'Come to my house. We need to talk properly, and we can't do it here.'

He made a swift exit, desperate to get some air, to talk properly, to get some answers to the hundreds of questions that he had right now.

He was up and out of his chair so fast, that if it hadn't been for the sentence before it she'd have been anxious. She grabbed her jacket and hurried after him. He led the way up to his cottage, still not speaking. She'd forgotten how long his legs were, and she had to half jog to keep up.

They entered his house. His domain. It was quite interesting really. A lot tidier than her place. Everything to hand. Minimalistic. Bit like being at Simon's.

'Tea?'

'No thanks.' This conversation was going to be the most difficult and now that she'd set the ball rolling, she wanted to get down to it.

Entering the living room, they sat on opposite ends of the sofa and observed one another. She saw Carl's eyes dropping to look at her stomach every now and then. She was getting tired of the silence and scrutiny.

'Y' gonna say something, then?' He seemed to jerk out of a reverie, and cast wildly around for words.

'You're really...?'

She nodded.

'And is it really...?'

'Yours? Yeah.'

'So is – is –is it – is it good news? Bad news? What do you want to do?' His familiar nervous stammer gave away to Ally the fact that he was completely knocked for six.

'It's just... unexpected. Absolutely out of the blue. And I haven't thought that bit through yet. All I knew was I 'ad to get down here and tell you before I bottled it. While I was still in the right frame of mind. And then in the cafe I said all that stuff which y' weren't meant to hear yet, because I hadn't even sorted it out in my own head. But I was improvising, because I couldn't know what would be going on with you when I got here.'

'I'm glad you said it.' He smiled tentatively - seemingly surprised at the way it felt on his face before carrying on. He reached for her hand. 'And you need to know, Ally, that whatever the circumstances were, or are, I'll always stand by you.'

'God, that sounded so cheesy. You better not talk like that all the time.'

He laughed, relieving some of the tension in the room.

'I suppose it did a bit. I don't know, it was the only way I could think of expressing it.' Still the same wit, he thought. Whatever happened to her, you could guarantee she'd have a blunt observation to apply to the situation. She told it straight. Just one of the reasons why he was inexplicably in love with her.

'I knew you'd do the right thing, but - I don't know. I just needed to know, you know – before I told you – that it'd be what you actually wanted and not just what you knew you should want because you got me up the spout.' She saw his face grow solemn.

'I'm sorry. I really should have - '

'Listen. What's done is done. It's not the end of the world. We just need to make it work.' He remembered too late that she hated it when he started apologising profusely after the event.

'Mm.' He still couldn't really take it all in. He had to say it, to test the words on his tongue.

'You're having a baby.' As he spoke, Ally was amused and warmed by the smile that now radiated the room. _It's really happening_, he told himself. He'd always imagined having kids one day. And now it had become a reality. Ally Minshull was having his baby.

'You don't look very pregnant, you know.' He was still eyeing her slim waist, wondering how on earth an entire baby was planning on fitting inside her.

'Yeah, well. Give it another month or two. It's there, I can feel it already, y' just can't see it under me clothes.'

'How many months is it now?'

'Four. I didn't realise till dead late, the thought never occurred to me. Here. Picture for y', I've got two.'

Four... four months. So that's five left. Five months until he'd be a father. He gazed in awe at the little image, his child. His child that was growing inside her as they spoke.

'I know it looks a bit deformed at the moment, but - '

'It doesn't. It's perfect.' She could see that he meant every word.

'When's the next one?'

'Umm... beginning of January, I think.'

'I'm coming.'

'Really? It's not that interesting. Mostly it's just them prodding me and taking me blood pressure.'

'I'm coming.'

Ally couldn't really think of anything to say now. It had gone brilliantly, better than she could have ever hoped, but there was still so much left unanswered. The silence this time was less pressing, less terrifying. Their friendship had been reinstated – and taken to a whole new level. But she hadn't come all this way to just sit there. Luckily, this time he broke it.

'How long are you staying?'

'I have to be back Monday evening.'

'Stay with me until then, please. We've got a lot to talk about.'

Ally smiled. This was all so unreal – but it felt so right.

'I'll need to head back to the B and B to get me stuff though. Speaking of, I should head back now. When do you have to be at work?'

'Not till tomorrow evening. We could go now, where are you staying?'

'Place in Truro, bloody miles away. I didn't want to drive all the way down so I took the train, don't half miss my car though.'

On the way there they discussed pleasantries, enjoying each other's company, not yet ready to have to make big decisions. On discovering that Ally now worked as a mechanic, Carl laughed out loud.

'What's so funny? Pays the bills, doesn't it?'

'No, no, nothing. It's so perfect, that's all. Half the time I've known you you've been flat out under a truck. How's TA without Polson then?'

'Good, apparently. I stopped goin' just after he left, medical orders. Didn't announce it officially or anything but the gang all know so no doubt it's all over the drill hall.'

'Do they know...?'

'Nope. Well, Simon and Dawn do. And Hodge, because he's the one convinced me to come down, cos of his daughter, see. He made me see that we're fine now. I'm not married, we've not got officers or slimy little Polson's on our back all the time. It's all legit.' She smiled.

Even so, their first evening together was awkward.

Ally allowed Carl to cook, mainly because she was completely knackered, but partly because she knew he'd do a better job of it. That evening after several awkward hours had been wasted talking about nothing in particular, he turned to where she was sitting beside him on the sofa.

'You know... we really should start talking about practicalities... the bigger picture, what we're going to do...'

'Sod that for tonight. I'm too tired. Tonight I just want you to hold me.'

'Now who's being cheesy?' He was rewarded with a soft slap on the arm. 'We'd better go to bed. Bedroom's the one directly at the top of the stairs.'

Ally headed up and used the bathroom. When she emerged in her pyjamas, she discovered him hauling sheets and pillows about.

'Carl? What are you doing?'

'Taking these down.'

'Yer not sleeping downstairs, you daft pillock. Look, if this is gonna work...'

'Ally...'

'I'm way too tired to get into this debate right now. Come on, in. That cheesy line wasn't for nothin', you know.'

Curling herself up deep into the folds of the duvet, Ally soon drifted off into a sound sleep, feeling the protective arms of the stocky Lieutenant wrapped securely around her.

Carl on the other hand barely slept. If anyone had told him just twenty four hours ago that he'd be entwined in bed with Ally Minshull... his heart beat fast as he reminded himself of the purpose of her visit. As he lay he stroked his fingers through her loose blonde curls, watched the steady rhythm of her chest rising and falling with each breath. Then he reached an arm round to rest his hand on her abdomen – slightly swollen as she had said. He felt a strong surge of love for his child, her child, their child lying peacefully within her, and felt her hands instinctively join his as he hugged her closer to him and finally closed his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Upon waking, Ally became aware that she was alone. She felt very peculiar, and she couldn't put her finger on what felt different. It was only when she sat up in bed and wriggled the life into her limbs that she realised. She wasn't tired. She felt refreshed. The niggling pressure at the back of her throat, the urge to yawn, was gone. She smiled, and for once willingly got out of bed, heading into the bathroom.

When she made her way downstairs, hair dripping (she didn't suppose Carl would have much need of a hairdryer, his was so short) she discovered a note taped to the front door.

_Gone to work, didn't want to wake you. There's some breakfast stuff in the kitchen. If you need anything I'm at the Fairway Hotel on the seafront. I should be back around one. _

_Carl_

After breakfast, she realised that she hadn't actually been to Cornwall before, and the views from the bedroom window were spectacular. She had a few hours to kill before Carl returned, so she set off to explore the village. It was a holiday of sorts she supposed, and it felt odd to be aimlessly rambling about the village with no particular purpose. She and Frazer had been on a cruise to the Mediterranean every few years, but that was always planned and scheduled to within an inch of its life. There was a strong smell of fish as she headed down towards the harbour which she could have done without, but she quite enjoyed the feeling of the breeze on her face. It was quite chilly and she wished she'd worn something else under her jacket, but climbing a high hill at the top of the village and standing atop it, she felt free.

Eventually freeness got boring and she checked her watch. Half twelve. By her reckoning, by the time she got back to the village she'd be just in time to meet Carl. She didn't need to hunt for his hotel – it was the only one on the seafront. Luckily tourist season was no more and she could get a seat on the low wall running aside the beach. As she sat down, her stomach grumbled. She hoped Carl wouldn't be long. Just she was processing this thought, one long leg followed by another swung over the wall and Carl sat down beside her.

'Hi. I hope you haven't been too bored, I forgot I was on the early shift. Shall we find something to eat?'

'Sounds good. No, I wandered for a bit, up the hill, just thinking, you know?'

'The views up there are beautiful,' he remarked. He didn't mention how many hours he'd spent up there, thinking, since he'd arrived – or who the object of his thoughts was.

They decided that they'd best not eat in the café they'd met in yesterday, as their exit had been somewhat unruly. She seemed to be making a habit of legging it out of restaurants. Instead, they chose a quieter teashop which was fairly deserted. After ordering, they sat with cups of tea on saucers. Ally immediately felt out of place in there, as the average age was clearly about seventy. Right on cue, the café bell rang and she turned to see the two older women she'd seen gossiping from the day before enter. Carl audibly groaned and leaned in.

'You're a friend, don't volunteer anything other than that or we'll be here all day.' His face changed instantly as the women arrived behind her, and his voice became light and charming yet again as his trademark beam broke out.

'Mrs Thatcher, Mrs Howard. What a pleasant surprise.'

'Hello, Carl. And…?' They looked questioningly at Ally, who turned in her seat, held out her hand and smiled her best public smile.

'Hi. Ally Minshull, I'm a friend of Carl's.'

'Oh, you're not from round here, are you?'

'No, I'm from Lancashire.'

'That is a long way to travel, what's the occasion?'

'Oh, just a social visit.'

The women looked like they were going to burst into another round of questioning when the waitress arrived with their orders. Carl took this golden opportunity.

'Oh, thank you. It's been lovely catching up, ladies.'

He and Ally turned to their food as the women headed off to another table. When they were safely out of earshot, the conversation resumed.

'Here, your business is everyone else's business, and if those two are about that business will be around all the surrounding villages in ten seconds flat. For the sake of me not getting mobbed, we'd better keep things under our hats for now.'

Ally rolled her eyes.

'And I thought Roker Bridge was bad. We really need to sort everything out this afternoon. Let's go back to your place after this, we can talk properly there. Shame though, you don't normally get this much sun in November.'

Carl smiled in a mysterious way.

'Sun it is.'

xxx

An hour later, they rounded a large cliff on the beach, which on this sunny day had plenty of families sitting about, and the odd brave surfer wading in or out of the cold waves. There lay a very small cove, not more than ten metres wide, sheltered from the wind and tourists by a large shelf of rock on either side. At this time of day the sun streamed directly in between the cliffs, creating a warm and cosy private beach. Ally smiled in delight and plonked herself down on the sand.

'Local secret,' Carl said as he sat next to her. 'No-one will find us here. We can talk about what we like.'

'Okay…' Ally pondered, 'So what do we do?'

The enormity of the question hit them. What were they to do, tied for the rest of their lives by their child? How were they ever to make this work? Carl decided to start with practicalities.

'I have a year's contract with this hotel. This hotel chain has a branch in Manchester, I can transfer – but I won't be able to move back until May at the earliest.'

'I'm due in April. You'll get paternity leave; can't you tack it right on the end and get back earlier?'

'I hadn't thought of that. Until then, I'll come up to you when I can.'

'And I'll come down to you when I'm fed up of Lloydy.'

Carl laughed, and she sighed.

'So what do we tell people? You're happy for it t' come out now, aren't y'?'

'More than happy.'

He looked at her. She looked so much healthier in just one day. She was staring out to sea, so he just saw her face in profile. The sun was bathing the entire cove with yellow light, illuminating her hair so that the golden strands fluttered around her face. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen such a beautiful sight. She turned her head back towards him, her now shadowed face surrounded by a halo of light, and it was hard to believe that she wasn't emitting that unearthly glow. She smiled, and he smiled, and the next thing he knew his arms were around her and their lips met.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Two figures held each other closely, huddled under a huge umbrella as they slowly made their way across the train platform. The man, tall and dark, held a protective arm around the shoulders of the smaller blonde woman as their eyes narrowed against the storm. They reached the door of the train and the man held his umbrella over the entrance. His partner turned, and looked at him for a long minute before giving him a chaste kiss and embarking the train.

Where had all of the sun from yesterday gone? Ally thought to herself. As she stared out of the train window through the torrential rain she felt that it was probably appropriate. It was likely that she wouldn't be seeing him again for another month. Straightening up, she scathingly told herself to pull herself together. She'd managed without him for four months; another one was hardly going to kill her. The train began to pull away and he raised his hand in farewell. Turning her head to see him once more, Ally then leant back in her seat and sighed.

Carl stood and looked at the spot where the train had been for another minute, before another one pulled in to take its place and he finally turned to leave the station. He sighed as he climbed into his car and threw the sodden umbrella into the back seat. It had been the most surreal weekend of his life... and his was saddened that she'd been brought back to him and then taken away again. His dream had at last come true... that morning he'd awoken to see her beautiful brown eyes locked onto his, and his heart had melted. But now she was on that train back to Lancashire... and so would he be, in a month's time, by invitation. He grinned to himself all the way home as it finally sunk in that he, Carl Rundle, was with Ally. He couldn't comprehend how Frazer had let such a woman go, but he'd given him this golden opportunity and he was going to hold onto it for dear life.

As he arrived home and parked outside his house he was confronted by Mrs Thatcher, but even that was not enough to dampen his spirits, so he smiled cheerfully at her despite the fact that he was rapidly becoming soaked.

'Hello, Carl. No sign of your... _friend_, today?' Mrs Thatcher was an astute woman, and if those two were just friends she'd eat her best teapot.

'No, she's on her way back to Lancashire.'

'And will we be seeing her again?'

'Hopefully, yes.'

With that, he turned and headed inside, closing the door and throwing himself triumphantly onto the sofa.

xxx

The rain eased off as the train wound its way steadily across England. By the time it was pulling into Roker Bridge, darkness had fallen but the sky had cleared, and a bright moon was shining down through the glass window of the station. On the platform Spock looked anxiously up and down, waiting for Ally to emerge from one of the carriages. He supposed that it must have gone well to a degree, as she'd delayed her trip back, hence why he was here so late to pick her up.

After what seemed like an age, a door at the far end opened and she stepped out. He was astonished to see such a change in his sister after just a few days. As she headed towards him dragging her case behind her, he noticed the bounce in her walk, the long forgotten twinkle in her eyes and the familiar wide smile. Upon arriving she threw her arms around him, and in a hearty tone said 'Alright, Spock?'

'I take it things went well, then?'

She pulled back and nodded, then clapped a playful hand on his shoulder as they walked towards the exit, briefing him on the events of the weekend.

The rest of the gang also noticed the new Ally the next day. After a day spent chattering to Diesel and singing out of tune from under various cars, she bounded into the pub after work and insisted on buying the first round. Hodge offered to help her carry them and as they made their way to the bar he muttered to her.

'Told y' it'd work out.'

She smiled gratefully at him.

'I know. Thanks Hodge, I owe you one.'

When they arrived back at the table, Diesel spoke up.

'So, what's got into you today? Y've cheered up no end.'

'I'm blooming,' Ally pronounced, as Dawn, Spock and Hodge exchanged amused grins. Lloydy merely looked confused.

'Are you pissed? Thought y' weren't meant to be drinkin', like.'

'Drunk on love, Lloydy, my man,' Hodge said as he patted Ally on the back. And those in the know realised that it was true. Today she was exuding sheer happiness – something that they hadn't seen from her in over a year now. Things clearly hadn't been quite right with Frazer for a while. Diesel leaned forward.

'Oh?' He was eager to know who it was that'd won the heart of his best girl mate. Dawn picked up the story.

'Someone's just spent a few days in the company of a certain Lieutenant Rundle.'

Hodge and Lloydy wolf whistled simultaneously whilst Eric looked merely confused, and Diesel concerned.

'That's great and all Ally, but how does he feel about… you know, you 'aving someone else's baby?'

Ally blushed. Her mates weren't all that clued up about the whole procreation process, but it didn't take a genius to realise that her baby had been conceived pretty damn soon after she'd left Frazer. As in, about twelve hours afterwards.

'It's not someone else's baby, actually.'

The entire table fell silent, in a similar way to the time at Lloydy's housewarming. Only this time, Ally herself had dropped the proverbial bombshell. Simon squeezed her hand.

'Is he coming back up here then?'

'Yeah, next month. He's gonna visit when he can, and he's moving back in April.'

'Cool.'

The chatter restarted and Ally sighed in relief that the spotlight was off her – for now. The gang were all being ultra considerate to her, but it'd never be the same anymore really. She had a baby now. She couldn't just nip down the pub with the rest of the when she felt like it. She was trying to act like normal for as long as she could, but things kept changing and drawing yet more attention to her. Everything was changing, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The weeks went on and Ally began to feel more and more pregnant. The fluttering within her became harder and harder to ignore, as did her increasing girth, which irritated her more than anything. She seemed to be expanding by the day – none of her clothes fit anymore – and though she was over half way there, there was still plenty of time left. Why did the thing have to take so long? She was fiercely independent, and sharing her body with someone else was not a job she'd have taken on lightly (or at all) if she'd known. It was still impossible for her to comprehend that she was actually going to have a child. A child which was reliant on her for everything. A child which was at this moment was being a big old inconvenience.

And yet... it had brought her to Carl. Carl, who'd soon be back in Roker Bridge where he belonged. Only this time, he'd be living with her.

The overzealous good mood which had overtaken her on her return to Lancashire had long since dissipated, to be replaced by an antsy restlessness as the date of his arrival grew nearer. Even Lloydy had noticed and hadn't been making quite so many tactless comments in her general direction for fear of having his head ripped firmly from his shoulders. The hotel had faffed about with his leave, and so he was to arrive a week later than originally planned. She'd retreated into a little shell of hard work again – this time channelling all of her excess energy into the less exertive garage work. Diesel had clocked up her hours and realised that if she went on like this she'd more than pay for her own maternity leave, without any lenience from him. He should have known really. When Ally put her mind to something, she did it properly. There was Christmas coming up on top of everything, just adding to her stress load.

On the eve of Carl's arrival, she was almost overflowing with the amount of pent up agitation and excitement that had been building. She'd spent the afternoon cleaning her flat – having spent time at his place she'd have been ashamed to let him see it like it had been. This had taken a fair amount of time, and soon it was nightfall. The early hours saw her trying without much luck to get to sleep. Her head was too busy with excitable thoughts and feelings, and her jitteriness seemed to be provoking the baby, who was soon disturbing her even more with its bizarre acrobatics. She put her hand to her temple and groaned as she paced her bedroom at three in the morning, trying to get them both off to sleep. Eventually she succeeded, though it seemed that seconds later her alarm was blaring, alerting her to the fact that in little over an hour, he would be stepping onto the platform at Roker Bridge.

She didn't particularly want any breakfast, but knew that she had to eat. After forcing down some cereal she changed, picking out the most normal looking of her maternity clothes and grabbing her favourite brown jacket from the coat hook. Then she got into her car and headed in the direction of the station. Oh, she did love her car. When she'd first arrived back from Cornwall she'd revelled in the comfort of it, the control, the feeling of the wind through her hair despite the wintery chill, and she still took joy from simply driving it.

Pulling in at the station, she opened her door and stepped out. Gone were the days where she could simply climb out _over_ the door. Now her exit from the car was more time consuming, but less strenuous with it. Oh dear. Never would she have thought before that she could find getting out of her car strenuous. Sighing to herself, she locked it and headed towards the entrance.

Despite her eagerness for this moment to arrive, she had somehow managed to run a little late. As she entered, the train was pulling away and the new arrivals were beginning to make their way to the exit. Being a small station in a small town, the huddle of people soon dispersed and she was left looking across at Carl, who was looking about him at the surroundings.

She didn't seem to be here yet. He looked around, remembering the old station well. Suddenly a movement caught his eye. He turned. And there she stood, beautifully familiar, hair falling neatly either side of her face, which was looking intently at him from the other side of the barrier on which she was casually leaning. He picked up his luggage and strode towards her. As he stepped through the barrier, he saw for the first time what the waist height gate had concealed, and couldn't hide the look of surprise on his face at how... how pregnant she looked. He felt stupid as he should have expected it, but couldn't help himself.

'Wow.'

Tearing his gaze away and focussing upwards, he noticed her obstinate face now glaring at him.

'Y' finished?'

He couldn't help but be amused, and his heart overflowed yet again. He grinned a helpless, ecstatic grin and swept her into a hug, feeling the strange firm presence of her belly pressing against his. He then pulled her in tighter for a kiss.

After a welcome like that, it was hard for her to feel annoyed anymore. Giving in to amusement as he released her, she smiled.

'Hiya.'

'Hi.'

The moment was broken as they heard an outbreak of cheering and applause. Carl turned and Ally stepped out from behind him to see Hodge, Mel, Eric, Dawn, Spock, Diesel and Lloydy. Rolling their eyes, they turned back to one another.

'Trust the motley crew to show up.'

'I guess we should've expected it really. C'mon, let's go.'

She took his hand as they strolled leisurely towards the waiting group.

'Alright, boss?'

'Sorry Al, couldn't resist.'

'Yeah, we had to see it for ourselves.'

'Nice t' see you got together in the end, like.' Mel was relieved that her little truth game hadn't ruined everything for the couple.

Ally turned to face Spock.

'What's your excuse, Mr Matlock? Aren't you meant t' be the one stopping this kind of thing? And at work, come t' think of it?'

'It's the Christmas holidays. And you can't blame me, it was six against one. Best I could do was come and restrain them.'

'Alright, I forgive you.'

'Well boys and girls, we can see we're not wanted,' Hodge winked. 'You are joining us in Wang's tonight though, right?'

Ally look up at Carl.

'You up for it?'

'Sure. Where is it?'

'The Roman Holiday, it's on Roker Street.' This was met by a blank look from Carl, and incredulity from everyone else. Diesel was first to recover.

'Ladies and gents, this man has never been to The Roman Holiday.'

They made their way to the exit after it had been decided that Carl, as a new member of the gang, must be introduced to Wang's cuisine. Ally nudged Carl.

'You love, are in for an interesting evening.'

'I suppose I'll have to get used to them now, won't I?'

'Yep.'

On arriving back at Ally's flat, Carl immediately began looking about. Ally thought that despite her efforts, she should probably come clean with him about her usual habitat.

'I've got to warn you. It won't usually be this clean.'

'I don't mind.'

She sat down on the sofa, and immediately he followed suit. Now that they were home alone in peace, he wanted to talk properly, to spend time catching up on all that he'd missed. He hated being so far away. They spoke on the phone but it wasn't the same as being here with her in person, able to put his arm round her whenever he wanted to, to look into her eyes, to see the development of his child.

'How are you feeling?'

'Fine. Fat.'

'You're not fat.'

'Yeah, I've heard that one before. Still, occupational hazard, I guess.'

'What's the doctor said?'

'It's all going well still, practically textbook apparently. It's a bit nocturnal though, gives me a hell of a lot of grief when I'm trying to sleep.'

'What else?'

'You don't want to know.' He looked as if he might argue. 'And I don't want t' tell you, it's not pleasant.'

He looked at her intently with wonder and new respect in his eyes.

'Thank you.' She looked confused.

'For what?'

'For going through all this,' he gestured at the bulge under her top, 'to give our child life. That's amazing.'

She raised an eyebrow.

'And don't you forget it. But don't look at me like I'm so noble. If it were biologically possible, it'd be up to you.'

He laughed, and then became serious.

'I mean it. I love you, Ally Minshull.'

'I love you too.' She saw his brow suddenly furrow.

'What?'

'Our baby won't be called that, will it?'

'Called what?'

'Look, I know you'd want the baby to have the same name as you and I can understand that, but you know... I just don't fancy the idea of him having Frazer's name, after what he did to you, it just... you know.'

'Him? Do you know something I don't?'

'No, it just feels weird saying 'it' all the time. But I'm being serious.'

She looked at him with trepidation. Dare she...? Should she? Was it too soon? She looked down at her belly for moral support.

'We don't have to pick a name, you know. He could be named after both of us.'

'What – Minshull-Rundle? I wouldn't have thought you'd want it double barrelled.'

'No, I meant – I meant... if we got married, we'd 'ave the same surname and we'd only 'ave to use one.'

He couldn't quite believe what he'd just heard. Did she - what? He stood up.

'Did-did- did you just propose?'

'I think I did.' For what seemed like an eternity, they just looked at one another. She spoke again.

'Only if we did, we'd have to get our skates on.'

'Why?'

''Cos in three weeks you'll be back in Cornwall, and I don't want y' runnin' off with Mrs Thatcher.'

He chuckled, then laughed aloud, then pulled her up and lifted her off her feet – quite an achievement given the circumstances. Then he heard a muffled 'ouch'. Concerned, he put her down.

'Bit tender right now. Just kiss me instead, right?'

He was happy to oblige.

xxx

The couple were sat on the sofa. Ally was leaning back against her new fiancé, who couldn't quite believe what had just happened. This woman! He looked down at her in awe. She couldn't do anything by the book; she had to plough through life in her own little way. She'd stunned him more in the last two years than in the rest of his life put together.

'So, have you got anything else to throw at me?'

'Huh?'

'To add to all the mini heart attacks you've given me. You're not having twins, are you?' She laughed.

'Nope, don't worry. God, imagine... I can't even believe I'm having one.'

'Me neither.' He paused. 'I would have thought you'd want to get over Frazer for a while before marrying me.'

'Didn't really get the chance to, did I? One day I find out me husband's been going on with someone else behind me back. Less than twelve hours later I'm knocked up with junior in here.' She patted her stomach. 'It's taken some adjusting, you know?'

'Tell me about it.'

'And anyway, we'd better get it over with now while y'r in me good books. When I'm fat, sore, tired and knee deep in nappies, all of which you _will _be blamed for by the way, I probably won't be in the best of moods with you.'

'You really know how to make a man feel wanted, don't you?'

'All part of my natural charm. We'd best get moving if we're gonna be at the restaurant by eight.'

'Are we breaking the news tonight?'

'Better had, need to make sure they're all free. January second, right?'

'Right. They had a cancellation.'

'Good.'

xxx

'You're _what_?'

'Gettin' married. January second.'

'That's... what's that? Three weeks?'

'Yep.'

The gang were yet again rendered speechless, until Diesel chipped in.

'Well then, I guess a toast is in order!'

After that, the gang were soon in fits of giggles – Carl and Ally from engagement euphoria, and the rest through champagne intoxication. Simon nudged Ally.

'You do know Mum is going to find this out soon, don't you? I'm seeing her on Christmas day, she will ask after you and I can hardly keep it from her that she's gonna be a grandma _and_ she's got herself a new son in law!'

After ten years out of contact with her mother, Ally found it hard to care whether she was disapproved of anymore.

'Go ahead. Maybe she'll prefer this one.'

'Well, he's not married to her best mate, and that's always a start.'

Carl raised his eyes and cleared his throat. He realised that he was marrying a married woman, and though he had faith that Ally wasn't about to go back to Frazer any time soon, he still wasn't keen on hearing all about their past relationship. The conversation moved swiftly on.

Towards the end of the evening, when they'd all gotten quite loud and drunken, and Mr Wang was regaling them all with his Marvin Gaye act, Carl noticed Ally freeze and fall silent mid-sentence. It was lost on the others, who were clustered in the centre of the room dancing to some obscure 60's track. He watched as she walked slowly across the room to sit down. She looked up and saw him watching her, and motioned him over with a jerk of her head, which he quickly obeyed.

'What's the matter?'

'It- it's kicking.'

She grabbed his hand and placed it carefully on the side of her belly. She held it there for about ten seconds in anticipation. Just as she was about to let go, he looked up in awe and waited for her to meet his gaze. When she did, he was surprised to see that her eyes were shining with tears. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she buried her face in his. He turned his head to whisper in her ear.

'Time to call it a night?'

He felt her nod against his neck, and then she sniffed, looked up and smiled weakly.

'Sorry. I don't know... let's go home.'

He curled an arm protectively around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder as they made their way to the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Carl and Ally had decided that their wedding was to be a very small, low key affair. More dignified than the one eventually held by Dawn and Eric, but simple. A wedding at the registry office followed by a reception at the hotel which Carl would be beginning work at in May. Even so, there seemed to be a lot to organise in that short time – not least the significant step of parental introductions. Ally was nervous about this. She'd never had to go along with all that with Frazer, since she'd known his parents since birth, really, though they were dead by the time the wedding came along.

She'd heard how strict and militarily run his childhood had been, and didn't particularly want to be on the receiving end of anything unpleasant. She envisioned Carl's dad to be somewhere between Carl and Polson on the attitude scale (hopefully on the former end) and had no idea what to expect with his mother. Probably she'd be a little cool – from what she'd heard, mothers didn't usually appreciate pregnant divorcees with 'unsavoury morals' ensnaring their sons.

So on Christmas Day after meeting the gang for a cursory present exchange, they got into Ally's car and Carl directed her to his parent's house. She was surprised to find that they lived in a small bungalow just outside Manchester in a nice little cul-de-sac. There was a Christmas tree in the window and some lights strung along the front. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but it wasn't this. Something more austere, certainly.

They headed up the garden path and Carl waited by the door, but didn't ring the bell. He turned and smiled at her.

'She'll have been watching by the window. Come on, they won't bite.'

He'd been right – five seconds later the door opened and a small stout woman opened the door and pounced on her son. Ally could see that her hair was dark brown and streaked with grey, but nothing aside from that since Carl was at least a head taller than his mum and blocked her face from view. She stood awkwardly about halfway down the path, unsure of herself. Then a man of similar age and similar height with grey hair and moustache (she was reminded unpleasantly of a certain sergeant) emerged from the house and shook his head in exasperation, before heading directly towards her and holding out his hand.

'You must be Alison.'

'Ally, please. Nice to meet you.' She shook his hand, feeling the firm handshake that hadn't been lost when he'd given up on his military years.

'You must forgive my wife; she needs to remind herself what he looks like, he's been away so long!'

At this, Mrs Rundle pushed her son away and turned to Ally.

'Come on dear, what are you doing all the way down there? It's freezing; you'll catch your death. Come inside and let me look at you.'

Ally was slightly alarmed, but followed them all into the house. Carl muttered to her as she passed.

'Brace yourself; she can be a bit overwhelming.'

They entered the house and her future mother in law looked her up and down.

'Goodness me! Carl said you were expecting, but... can't be long to go now, can there?'

Twenty minutes later she had been asked what seemed like every conceivable question they could think of, and all eyes were on Ally. And there were a lot of eyes. As well as Carl's parents there were his brother and sister, their spouses and various offspring. The large family was a little too big for the small house but it was cosy, and completely different from the uptight atmosphere she had envisioned.

'So, go on. How did he propose?'

Ally shot an awkward glance at Carl.

'Well, he didn't officially, I guess. It just kind of came up in conversation.'

'That must have been one hell of a conversation!' His father boomed.

'Actually it was the 'probably-not-a-good-idea-for-our-baby-to-have-my-ex-husband's-surname' conversation.'

There was an awkward silence, which Carl broke by asking his sister's husband how his business was going. Ally smiled at him gratefully and raised a rueful eyebrow. It was all going better than expected to be honest, although they were a little overbearing. They all seemed a little put out that Carl hadn't introduced her before, especially since he hadn't let on in his phone calls quite how advanced her pregnancy was. So she'd had to sit there and answer yet more questions while everyone around her felt her belly, which she found absolutely infuriating. And these people actually had an excuse – they'd soon be her in-laws, after all. She'd never had in-laws before; she didn't really know what the etiquette was. But when people on the street considered it perfectly acceptable to just invade her personal space like that… aside from reminding her that at nearly six months, her figure was in serious jeopardy already, she'd never liked being too touchy feely with people she didn't know. However, she'd learned quickly that even politely moving away caused offence to most of the population, so she'd had to grin and bear it.

She soon learned that far from being cool, Carl's mother actually seemed to like her. After dinner she offered to help wash up, in order to get away from the slightly claustrophobic atmosphere in the sitting room, and in doing so got to know her mother-in-law to be a little more.

'I must thank you dear, for bringing our Carl back. I mean, Cornwall – really, could he move away any further? He's a good boy but terribly stubborn. Wouldn't hear us when we told him to stay put. Gregory was disappointed, Second Lieutenant could have become so much more. Still, you've made him see sense now. He needs to stay here with his family.'

Ally felt that she probably should just keep her mouth shut, but also felt that the woman deserved some sort of explanation as to why her son had decided to go running off across England.

'Well actually, it was sort of my fault that he left in the first place. I was still married, we had a bit of a misunderstanding and he embarrassed himself in public. Not out finest hour really. And then I left my husband and we got together for a bit, but by that time he was already contracted down in Cornwall.' Ally neglected to mention the briefness of their time together. ' But when we found out I was pregnant, it seemed best that he moved back here and we get married, do it properly, you know?'

'Absolutely the best decision, I see you have sense. He was always one to over react and run off when he was upset, we were so glad when he joined the TA, got himself a bit of confidence, you know how it is there. What were you again? Officer training? I was a Corporal, jacked it in when I had Steph of course, the midwives don't approve of the army now do they? Ah, I did love them when they came along though. Carl was my last, baby of the family. Here, there's him there. I like to keep them where I can see them, memories, you know? You'll know what I mean soon dear, they grow up too fast. Even the grandkids. I am glad I'll have another baby one, the others are all getting older now, not that I'm not proud of them…'

Ally had zoned out from the rambling and was marvelling at the photo of the newborn Carl. She found it impossible to believe that the tiny thing in the photo had grown into her strapping husband to be.

'He was so small!'

'Didn't feel like it, not when I was delivering him. Ten pounds eight, worst of the lot. He was quick though, I'll say that for him. Can't have been more than a few hours.'

Ally looked horrified.

'A few _hours_? _Quick_?'

She hadn't admitted it to anyone, but she was more than a little bit nervous about the time when she'd actually have to have the baby. True, she certainly wanted it expelled from her body soon, the quicker the better, but it didn't sound particularly pleasant.

At that moment, Carl entered to see if Ally needed rescuing. He immediately noticed what she was holding and rolled his eyes.

'Great, I should have known you'd bring that one out. Could you at least pick one to display where I actually have some clothes on?'

'Why? They're no fun to embarrass you with, now are they?'

It was true – looking up from the photo Ally saw that it was true - his ears had turned slightly pink. She sniggered, looking again from the baby to his older incarnation. She liked Mrs Rundle's style – she'd have to remember to take a similar photo for teenage bargaining purposes.

Driving home after the visit, Carl turned to look at Ally in her element in the driver's seat. She didn't have the longest legs. He doubted that she'd taken this particular scenario into account when choosing her car, but soon she'd not be able to reach the pedals if the seat wasn't adjustable in some way.

'So. Any baby photos of you in circulation I should be aware of?'

'Doubt it. They've probably all been burned ritually in yet another attempt to convince themselves that they don't have a daughter. That I was just a twenty one year blip in their otherwise conventional lives. Simon's gone to see them today, I'm sure they'll be suitably horrified to discover that I'm breeding.'

Carl didn't know how to respond to this. Despite her light tone and casual attitude, it was clear that Ally did care to an extent that her parents – the two people who were supposed to love her unconditionally – had cut her out of their lives entirely. He supposed that was why she was so close to her brother. He was the only family that she had left. He would have squeezed her hand had both of them not been on the steering wheel.

Arriving home, she turned on the television and they sat together in silence for a while, relaxing after the long trip and just enjoying each others company. Too soon, the peace was disturbed as the phone rang. Ally lazily reached over to the table beside the sofa and answered. It was Spock.

'Hi, pet. Had a nice day? Not too bad, we visited Carl's parents. Fine. Yep. No… what?'

Carl looked up in confusion as Ally suddenly sat bolt upright, twirling the phone cord around her finger. Her soft voice had suddenly developed a hard edge and sarcastic tone.

'I didn't promise anything! No, she can't. Well how does she know where we are?… Of course you did. Great. What the hell am I supposed to do, Simon? Ugh, why should I? Right. Well, if this all goes belly up, consider yourself uninvited to the wedding.' She slammed down the phone. Spock sighed at his end. He knew his sister well enough to know that her rational reasoning would kick eventually, but he was sorry he'd upset her – especially at the moment. He just hoped that her voice of reason could co-operate with her pregnancy hormones.

'What's the matter?' Carl asked beside her.

'Me mother, me bloody mother. Ten years, ten years without so much as a phone call and now she decides to come over with less than a half hour's notice! What the hell was she thinking? I have about twenty five minutes before she walks through that door and in that time I have to make myself presentable, make the house presentable, gear myself up for her first meeting with you, tell her that in about three months she'd gonna be a grandmother and at the same time have a pretty significant family reunion, and that's on top of planning a wedding and being nearly six months pregnant. Tell me Carl, on _what planet_ is that kind of thing considered acceptable?' She finally stopped pacing and crying and looked up at him, sheer desperation on her face. And then his army training kicked in. Time to think on his feet.

'Okay. We now have about twenty minutes until she arrives. Here's the plan. Forget the wedding for today, put it right out of mind, we'll work on it tomorrow. I'll clean up in here. You haven't got time for a shower so just change, wash your face, do your hair, go for it. Now, when she gets here don't worry about what she thinks. You're a grown woman, soon to be a mother, you can make your own choices, you've managed perfectly fine without her for ten years so her opinion doesn't matter. If she wants to come to the wedding, then fine, we invite her. You be mature and sensible and you don't bear grudges against her even if you secretly do. Act nice, no going off on one, no shouting and if this has to be the one evening in your life where you control your temper then for God's sake, do it! She's had ten years to settle into her own negative little view of you because of who you chose to marry, but now he is gone and you are a different person and we are going to break that image. I'll take care of her when she gets here. Understand?'

Ally nodded without saying a word. She didn't agree with half of the things he'd said but she knew that he was right. And right now he was taking control and saving her from completely losing it, so she would obey him to the letter as if they were still just at drill practise.

'Okay, now go!' She immediately rushed into the bedroom as he turned to observe the room, and set to cleaning it. Luckily she'd already done her big clean a week ago, so he just had to deal with the surface mess which had accumulated since then.

Ally was freshly changed and sitting on the edge of her bed, her hands shaking as they tried to twist her hair into her usual clasp. Growling with exasperation at this normally simple task going wrong, she took it down instead and brushed it with ferocity, before clipping it back with a slide to keep it from her face. Hurrying across the hall to the bathroom, she looked in the mirror with despair at her red eyes and smudged make-up. Two minutes later she removed the cool flannel from her eyes, and satisfied with the outcome began to reapply her mascara. Her left eye done, it widened in panic as the doorbell went. She hurriedly started on the right eye.

Carl opened the front door and took in the person standing before him. About five foot eight, she stood to her full height, looked him over and said

'Goodness, you're under fifty!'

He could already see why Ally had gotten so worked up, this woman obviously judged everything at face value. He'd have to give her the best face value he could. He put on his best public smile.

'Hello, you must be Mrs Matlock.' He didn't need to ask. Apart from the dodgy perm, it was like looking at Ally in thirty years' time.

'And you must be Mr Rundle. I'm here to see Alison.'

'Come in, she'll be ready in a minute. Would you like tea?'

Ally from the bathroom heard him showing their guest into the living room, being the perfect host. Brilliant. She applied some lip balm, anything to allow her to stay in the safety of the bathroom for another minute or two while she gathered up her thoughts.

Back in the sitting room, Mrs Matlock was being handed her tea.

'Always was a bit tardy, Alison. Never on time when five minutes late would do.' Carl felt that if this meeting were going to work, he'd have to balance between defending Ally and keeping her mother sweet.

'Mrs Matlock, you should know before your daughter comes in that for the last twenty five minutes she has done nothing but try and set things straight for your arrival. Given the lack of notice I feel it only fair that she has time to compose herself.' Mrs Matlock looked slightly affronted – whether to the fact that she was being put in her place or that he'd just casually referred to Ally as 'your daughter' it was hard to tell.

At that moment, the door opened. Ally crossed the room swiftly, sat down next to Carl and looked at the woman who was sat in her flat, looking ten years older, but still familiar.

'Alison.'

'Hi, Mum.' Carl could feel the tension brewing.

'So it's true then.'

'Is what true?' Her tone was sweet and airy, but she was clearly feeling anything but.

'Don't be deliberately obtuse, Alison. You're... expecting.'

'Yep. Nearly six months.'

'And when exactly were you planning on informing your father and I?'

'Probably about the same time as you acknowledged that Simon wasn't an only child.'

There was a silence. Carl cringed in the knowledge that it already seemed to be going wrong.

'I'll admit that we perhaps... overreacted at the time. But to be fair, it was quite a slap in the face for all involved. We only wanted the best for you. And it didn't exactly have a happy outcome, did it?'

'Perhaps not, but that was down to Frazer, not me. As it was to begin with. I was single. He was the one having an affair. The best for me would be having two parents who actually loved me, because I'd done nothing wrong, parents who could speak to me, even speak about me without looking like you've got some dirty smell under y'r nose. And what's with calling me 'Alison' all of a sudden? Y've _never _called me Alison!'

Mrs Matlock' voice quavered slightly.

'Because Ally was my little girl, who liked running around with her nappy off, who I pushed on the swings and who had braces. Ally was the one who got twelve GCSE's and got into university. But whenever you were naughty, I'd call you Alison. Alison was the one who got her clothes filthy and got in trouble for fighting or kicking the football through the greenhouse roof. And Alison was the one who went behind our backs, who we found in bed with a man twice her age, the man she called uncle, the night before her twenty first birthday. And that was the last time I spoke to you. So ever since, you've been Alison.'

'But I'm not twenty one anymore, Mum. I have a job. I'm gettin' married, to a man my age, who I love, who loves me, and I'm having a baby of my own. I've grown up. I'm Ally.'

'Very well... Ally.'

'So what brought you here tonight, then?'

'To hear that, I suppose. Exactly that. To see that. That you'd grown up. To meet your husband. To see you pregnant. To see for myself that I made a bloody great mess of things.'

Ally blinked, and took a breath. Emerging from such an intense conversation was like breaking the surface after being underwater.

'So, when are you getting married?'

'January second.'

'You never did like to do things conventionally, did you?'

'I did do it conventionally the first time round, you just weren't there.'

'I'd hardly call all that - '

Carl interrupted her.

'Come on ladies, you were doing so well. Let's not have an argument now.'

Two heads flicked round to look at him. Both women had almost forgotten that he was in the room. He held his hands up in apology, and gestured for them to carry on.

'So are you going to be at this one?'

'If you'd like me to be.'

'Well, suppose I can't deny you the chance to tell all y'r friends that you'll be mother of the bride. They're not coming though, it's a quiet do. Just you and Dad.'

'Okay.'

'Roker Bridge registry office, 2pm. Then afterwards we're going to the Royal Hotel in Manchester.'

'Sounds good.' There was another pause.

'I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma. You're making me feel old, you know.' She turned to Carl. 'I expect your mother feels the same.'

Carl laughed. He still felt that Ally had been snubbed unjustly for far too long, but he could tell that the mother-daughter bond was still there, and he was eager to encourage it.

'No, she's already got five. I'm the youngest.'

'Ah well. I'd better be off now, you know. I've left your father in charge of the guests, he'll be bored rigid.'

'Is Simon still there?'

'No, he left when I did. He'll be home by now, you can call him and apologise.'

'How did you know about that?'

'The only time you two ever fought was when he'd told me something you didn't want me to know. You'd shout at him, he'd cry and then ten minutes later you'd be saying sorry and giving him a cuddle.' She shot a sideways look at Carl. 'He was three, she was seven. Always been hot-headed.' Carl fought a smile. He could quite imagine Ally and Spock as infants – and of course she'd have been in charge.

Mrs Matlock got up to leave. Ally got up and followed her to the door, signalling Carl to stay where he was. They stood awkwardly in the doorway, neither knowing what to say.

'I kept that issue of Lancashire Living, you know.'

'You mean the one where I was 'brawling'?'

'You always used to get him to do your dirty work too. But yes. You haven't really changed that much. Like when you were little and I'd send you off in a party dress and tiara and if there were any boys about you'd come back with a bloody nose. That photo of you in your nice suit, holding the jacket over the poor man's head. It reminded me that you were still my Ally.' She looked up sadly.

'I did always love you, you know. A mother's love is unconditional. You'll find that out soon.'

She briefly brushed her daughter's midriff with her fingertips, and this time Ally didn't care. When she had turned her back and stepped outside, she called after her.

'Mum!' Mrs Matlock turned to face the silhouette of her daughter in the doorway.

'I love you too.'

Ally closed the door and turned away, walking into the sitting room. And only once there in Carl's arms did she let the tears come. He held her while she sobbed out all the grief that had haunted her for the last decade – the grief that she had that she had held in for so long, and buried under a layer of false bravado. And only when she felt that she was empty, that she had cried all she could cry, did he release her from his grip. She pulled him back and kissed him, before leading him to bed, where again she clung to him, looking for some way to express her excess love, grief, rage and hosts of overflowing emotions.

Looking down at her head on his chest afterwards, Carl grinned.

'Fighting and smashing greenhouses, eh? God help us if you have to raise a daughter!'

But Ally was already gone to the world. He'd have to tease her tomorrow.


End file.
